


Avengers Chat

by BookstoFanfics



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Crack, Gen, Humor, Loki (Marvel) Lives, Natasha Romanov Lives, Pietro Maximoff Lives, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Lives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:33:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 24,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23038651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookstoFanfics/pseuds/BookstoFanfics
Summary: The Avengers don't have a group chat or any form of communication. Peter decides to change that.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Pietro Maximoff, Gamora/Peter Quill, James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Loki & Thor (Marvel), Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Shuri, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Pietro Maximoff & Wanda Maximoff, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson
Comments: 38
Kudos: 213





	1. Yeeter Yarker Has Created the Group Chat: The Avengers

**Author's Note:**

> Instead of studying for exams, I wrote this.

_yeeter yarker has created the group chat: The Avengers_

You know who I am: What the hell is this?

yeeter yarker: Hi Mr. Stark!!!!!!!!

yeeter yarker: you guys didnt have a group chat of any kind

yeeter yarker: so I made one!!!!

Bird: hell yeah why hasnt anyone thought of this

Steve: Because we didn't really need one. 

yeeter yarker: but Mr. Rogers sir we need a way to communicate when we're not together especially after everything that has happened

yeeter yarker: oh and I need more people to send my memes to

The cooler Bird: He's got a point

Bird: hey why are you the cooler bird >:(

The cooler Bird: Because I am

Bird: fuck you

Steve: Language

yeeter yarker: ok boomer

Steve: Kid, I wasn't even technically alive at that time.

You know who I am: OK you know what

You know who I am changed Steve's name to LaNgUaGe

LaNgUaGe: Are you serious, Tony? 

You know who I am: You damn know I am

Mama Spider: hello boys I hope you guys have been behaving before I found this chat

yeeter yarker: OMG is black widow!!!!!!

Mama Spider: Hello Peter

Bird: Natasha!!!!!

LaNgUaGe: Hello Nat.

The cooler Bird: Hey Nat we missed you

You know who I am: Hey Nat how was sacrificing yourself for the universe?

Mama Spider: Like I was repenting for everything I've done

You know who I am: Me too!!!

Mama Spider: I see everyone missed me

Bird: you have no idea

Mama Spider: I hoped I didn't miss much while I was away

You know who I am: I'd say kinda

Mama Spider: I hope you'll help me catch up

Bird: wait guys

Bird: i know we're supposed to welcome Nat back but

Bird: I still have to fight Sam for the title of The cooler Bird

The cooler Bird: You don't have to

The cooler Bird: because I already am

Bird: thats it

Bird: lets fight outside the compound

Mama Spider: Clint, your lack of capitalization and punctuation marks make it hard to be intimidating

Bird: :(

You know who I am: Hey Peter, why isn't everyone here

yeeter yarker: well cuz I didn't know everyone's account

You know who I am: Alright, hold on

_You know who I am added Bruce, Thunderstorm, Snek Lord, Scarlet Witch, The Flash⚡, JBB, Catman, SHUR-YEET, Sherlock, Pepps, and Ant Boi to the chat_

You know who I am: There we go

You know who I am: That's most of them at least

LaNgUaGe: Hey Bucky!

JBB: Who is this?

LaNgUaGe: Buck, it's me, Steve.

JBB: Then why is your name LaNgUaGe?

LaNgUaGe: It was Tony.

Thunderstorm: Hello everyone!

Snek Lord: Why am I in a place like this

Thunderstorm: Loki! You must behave here

yeeter yarker: OMG

yeeter yarker I'm gonna die

You know who I am: WTF are you OK

yeeter yarker: no

yeeter yarker: I'm in a group chat with Thor and Loki

yeeter yarker: ok

yeeter yarker : that's enough of me

yeeter yarker: Hi Mr. Thor! Hi Mr. Loki!

yeeter yarker: I'm such a big fan of you two!!!!!

Thunderstorm: Thank you, Man of spiders

Snek Lord: Why do I feel the urge to protect this child

You know who I am: Don't worry it happens to all of us

SHUR-YEET: WASSUP EVERYONE

yeeter yarker: Hi Shuri!!!

SHUR-YEET: this bitch empty

yeeter yarker: YEET!!!

SHUR-YEET: oh my fucking god

SHUR-YEET: she fuckin dead

yeeter yarker: if she breath

yeeter yarker: she a thot!!!

yeeter yarker: I'm gay

SHUR-YEET: I thought you were american

yeeter yarker: it is Wednesday my dudes

yeeter yarker: aaaaaaahahhah

You know who I am: What the fuck did I just witness

Catman: It is their way of speaking to each other

Catman: I think they call it "memeguistics"

yeeter yarker: and how do you know that

Catman: Shuri told me

yeeter yarker: you traitor!

yeeter yarker: it was our secret language

SHUR-YEET: I had to

SHUR-YEET: he said I could post the video if did

yeeter yarker: what video

SHUR-YEET: you know

SHUR-YEET: "The Video"

yeeter yarker: ohhhh

yeeter yarker: ok

Pepps: I open my phone

Pepps: And I see an Avengers group chat

You know who I am: Hey Pep!

Pepps: Tony, stop messing around for a while and be a dad to Morgan

You know who I am: Yes dear

Pepps: Good

Bruce: Oh hey

Bruce we've got a group chat now

yeeter yarker: Hi Mr. Banner!!! 

Bruce: Hey Peter :)

yeeter yarker: :)

Sherlock: Am I even an Avenger?

You know who I am: Of course you are

You know who I am: Everyone who fought in the final battle with Thanos is

Sherlock: Everyone?

You know who I am: Yup

Sherlock: You do remember that I brought thousands of people to that, right?

You know who I am: Most of those in the final battle are now an Avenger

LaNgUaGe: Aren't you supposed to be with Pepper and Morgan?

You know who I am: I am now

Antboi: :0

Antboi: What this?

yeeter yarker: Hi Mr. Scott!!!

yeeter yarker: this our new group chat

Antboi: :0

Scarlet Witch: What up everyone!!!!

The Flash⚡: It is us!!!!

Bird: eyyy

Bird: its my favorite twins

The Flash⚡: eyyy

The Flash⚡: it my favorite bird

Bird: see sam

Bird: even this guy knows im cool

The cooler Bird: that's cause you're both lame

The Flash⚡: who is this

The Flash⚡: I'm gonna fight him!!!

Bird: then join me

Bird: I was gonna fight him outside tomorrow

The Flash⚡: HELL YEAH!!!

The Flash⚡: LET'S KILL HIM!!!

The cooler Bird: Hey that's not fair!

The cooler Bird: It can't be 2v1

Bird: alright then

Bird: let us assemble a team of five

Bird: then tomorrow

Bird: we fight!

LaNgUaGe: Guys, please don't let this be like our fight a while back.

Bird: whatever old man

Bird: ill pick my team members first

Bird: im taking my boy Pietro for this obviously

Bird: together with Nat T'challa Peter and

Bird: I cant believe im saying this but

Bird: my last member is Loki

Snek Lord: I'll only if I can stab someone

Bird: you can

Bird: if its Sam

Snek Lord: Deal

Mama Spider: Actually

Mama Spider: I'm gonna join Sam's team

Bird: how could you betray me like that

Mama Spider: I just don't want to lose

Bird: :(

Bird: fine  


Bird: then ill take Thor

Thunderstorm: Thank you

Thunderstorm: Our battle will be legendary

Catman: I guess it will be nice to try this

SHUR-YEET: Hell yeah, brother!!!

SHUR-YEET: Kick their ass!!!

yeeter yarker: don't worry Mr. Hawkeye

yeeter yarker: I'll bring us victory!

The cooler Bird: I guess I'll go for Steve, Bucky, and Strange

The cooler Bird: Nat already wants to join so there

LaNgUaGe: Wait

LaNgUaGe: we don't want to be a part of this.

JBB: Actually...

JBB: I wanna join

LaNgUaGe: Fine, I'll join too.

yeeter yarker: you guys are such beautiful lovers

yeeter yarker: you're my gay idols

LaNgUaGe: How did you know that we're dating?

yeeter yarker: cause

yeeter yarker: it's obvious

yeeter yarker: and I won't tell Mr. Stark

yeeter yarker: you guys are loud

LaNgUaGe: Sorry about that

JBB: I guess me too

yeeter yarker: it ok

yeeter yarker: at least Stucky is canon

Sherlock: Do I really have to fight?

The cooler Bird: Please?

Sherlock: Fine

Sherlock: But only because Clint has Loki

Bird: alright

Bitd: everything is ready

The cooler Bird: When's the fight happening

Bird: tomorrow at 12

yeeter yarker: HELL YEAH!

yeeter yarker: I'M READY TO KICK ASS

SHUR-YEET: GO GET THEM PETER

yeeter yarker: YEAH!!!

You know who I am: What the hell

You know who I am: why is everyone leaving me out of this


	2. 2 Hours Before The Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky loves America's ass. Peter ships it too much and accidentally snitches on them. And other guys join.

JBB: So it's 2 hours before the fight.

JBB: And I just wanted everyone to appreciate America's Ass™.

JBB: Thanks.

LaNgUaGe: Buck, you can't just say that here.

You know who I am: Pls don't sext

LaNgUaGe: We weren't going to.

You know who I am: It sure seemed like it

yeeter yarker: it's OK Mr. Bucky and Mr. America

yeeter yarker: you can love each other all you want

yeeter yarker: and to help everyone else be aware of your love

_yeeter yarker has changed LaNgUaGe's name to America's Ass_

_yeeter yarker has changed JBB's name to Owner of America's Ass_

Owner of America's Ass: Huh

Owner of America's Ass: Thanks

America's Ass: Peter! That's inappropriate!

yeeter yarker: I can do this if I want

yeeter yarker: you guys were pretty loud last night

You know who I am: excuse me?

America's Ass: Um

Owner of America's Ass: Sorry

You know who I am: You guys were fonduing in room next to a child?!

yeeter yarker: technically I'm 21 but also 16

You know who I am: doesn't matter

You know who I am: You guys better start running

Owner of America's Ass: Steve, I think we should hide

yeeter yarker: I know you guys are hiding from Mr. Stark

yeeter yarker: but can I ask something

America's Ass: Sure, why not

yeeter yarker: who topped last night

America's Ass: What?

Owner of America's Ass: I did but we switch sometimes

America's Ass: What the hell

America's Ass: Why do you need to know this?

yeeter yarker: because I'm writing stucky fanfics and it's time to put the E in my Explicit fanfic

America's Ass: What's Stucky?

Owner of America's Ass: Don't worry Steve

Owner of America's Ass: I actually know what that is

Owner of America's Ass: I'll tell you later

You know who I am: Stop texting and fight me!!!

Bird: dont do it

Bird: we already have one about to start

The cooler Bird: I actually agree with that

Bird: hey

Bird: this is a message to my team members

Bird: we need a name

yeeter yarker: I suggest The Dank Memers

The Flash⚡: I approve

Catman: Not all of us know that many memes

yeeter yarker: but you know some

Catman: Yes

yeeter yarker: we're still going for that name

Scarlet Witch: together with the fact that most of us know what memes are

SHUR-YEET: brother

SHUR-YEET: before the fight

SHUR-YEET: you're getting a meme lesson

Catman: Do I have to

Thunderstorm: May I ask

Thunderstorm: What are memes

Snek Lord:Oh Thor

Snek Lord: don't worry I'll teach him

Bird: alright

Bird: its official

Bird: WE ARE THE DANK MEMERS

yeeter yarker: FUCK YEAH!!!

America's Ass: Language

You know who I am: Where the fuck are you guys?!

Owner of America's Ass: Somewhere

You know who I am: Dammit

The cooler Bird: So I guess we'll need a name too

The cooler Bird: Let's just call it The Cooler Team

Mama Spider: That's just lazy

Owner of America's Ass: How about The Cooler Team plus a bird

Mama Spider: I second it

The cooler Bird: Are you guys serious?

America's Ass: Sam you need to believe me when I say that they're serious.

The cooler Bird: OK

The cooler Bird: Fine

The cooler Bird: We are now The Cooler Team plus a bird

The cooler Bird: Fuck you, Barnes

Owner of America's Ass: That's Steve's job

Owner of America's Ass: Only sometimes though

America's Ass: Bucky!

Thunderstorm: I'm sorry to interrupt

Thunderstorm: but may I add a couple of my friends

yeeter yarker: Sure Mr. Thor!

You know who I am: Wait are they Avengers

_Thunderstorm has added Star Lord, Invisible, Tree, Not A Raccoon, Green girl, Green girl 2, Blue Bot, Mantis, Avenger and Valkryie to the chat_

Avenger: So this is the Avengers Chat

Valkryie: Why am I here

Snek Lord: That's the same thing I asked when I was added

You know who I am: Who is this person named Avenger

You know who I am: You may be an Avenger but we all are too

Avenger: This is Carol

Avenger: And if it weren't for me

Avenger: You guys would've been named "The Protectors"

You know who I am: Yeah right

Avenger: Ask Fury

You know who I am: I will and prove you wrong

Star Lord: Uh, Thor

Star Lord: I think this isn't the right chat

Star Lord: We are The Guardians of the Galaxy

Star Lord: Not The Avengers

Valkryie: And I'm a Revenger

You know who I am: Wait

You know who I am: What's a Revenger

Thunderstorm: They are the team I assembled to fight my sister Hela

America's Ass: You had a sister?

Thunderstorm: Yes, but we had to bring Ragnarok upon Asgard to defeat her

yeeter yarker: wait

yeeter yarker: I thought Hela was Loki's daughter

Snek Lord: Whatever you read was extremely inaccurate

Snek Lord: I may have an eight legged horse and a giant snake as children

Snek Lord: but she is our sister

yeeter yarker: what about Fenrir

Snek Lord: I guess he is her pet

Star Lord: This is still not answering my question as to why the guardians are in the Avengers chat

You know who I am: Well you guys did help us take down Thanos

You know who I am: So you guys are the half Avengers

Blue Bot: I guess that's nice

You know who I am: Hey!

You know who I am: It's you!

You know who I am: I actually really miss our time together

Blue Bot: Despite your name, I do not know who you are

You know who I am: Seriously? Its you know

You know who I am: The guy you got stranded with in space

Blue Bot: Oh, it's you

Blue Bot: I guess I missed our time together too

Pepps: So you were the one Tony's been telling me about

Pepps: Thank you for keeping him company at that time

Blue Bot: Your welcome

Green girl 2: Is this the other team who was fighting Thanos?

Green girl: I think so

You know who I am: Why are there 2 green girls

Star Lord: One is past Gamora

Star Lord: and the other is the love of my life

Green girl 2: What did I see in you

Not a Raccoon: Hey looks like the guy with the metal arm is here

Not a Raccoon: Can I have it now?

Owner of America's Ass: No

Owner of America's Ass: it wasn't up for grabs before

Owner of America's Ass: and it isn't now

Not a Raccoon: I'll get that arm one day

Tree: I am Groot

yeeter yarker: Hi! I'm Peter

Tree: I am Groot

yeeter yarker: what

Not a Raccoon: He says he likes you

yeeter yarker: :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

You know who I am: OK so all of you are here

You know who I am: but where's the alien girl

You know who I am: and the other guy

Star Lord: Somewhere

Star Lord: Which reminds me

Star Lord: Guys we've got to head back to space soon

yeeter yarker: wait

yeeter yarker: you guys wanna stay to watch The Fight

Star Lord: The Fight?

Bird: just scroll up

Bird: anyways

Bird: guys we need to have a team meeting before The Fight

Bird: so yeah

The cooler Bird: We need to have a meeting too

Bird: dude it just looks like your copying us now

The cooler Bird: It's you're

Bird: whatever

Bird: The Fight will start soon

Bird: The Dank Memers must meet up

The cooler Bird: and I don't wanna say it

Bird: what

Bird: you cant say it cuz the names lame

The cooler Bird: No

The cooler Bird: Its time for the The Cooler Team plus a bird to have their meeting

Mama Spider: You guys better be ready to lose

Owner of America's Ass: Fuck Yeah!

America's Ass: Language

Owner of America's Ass: You didn't seem to care about that last night

America's Ass: Bucky!

The Flash⚡: Don't worry Clint

The Flash⚡: I'm gonna kick ass

yeeter yarker: hell yeah

yeeter yarker: I'm gonna kick ass too

Scarlet Witch: I'm gonna kill someone! 

Snek Lord: Will I really be able to stab someone?

Bird: as long as its Sam

Snek Lord: I will bring victory

Thunderstorm: Would you want some Asgardian mead to celebrate our victory

Bird: sure why not

You know who I am: except for Peter

You know who I am: He's still technically 16

yeeter yarker: :(

Bird: ok time to have that meeting

Star Lord: Why can't we have something like this

Not a Raccoon: because you're lame

Tree: I am Groot

Not a Raccoon: He really is

Star Lord: I'm not lame!


	3. The Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Fight officially begins. Wanda makes her own team. The leaders of the two teams are useless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exams are now over so I can write shit more. But I'm pretty sure looking at the results of the test is scarier than taking the actual test.

Bird: it is time

Bird: to fight

yeeter yarker: HELL YEAH!!! 

Scarlet Witch: TIME TO KICK ASS!!!

Snek Lord: TIME TO STAB!!!

The cooler Bird: Wanda are you even on either teams?

Scarlet Witch: No

Scarlet Witch: But I will make my own

Scarlet Witch: and call it The Awesome Ladies

Mama Spider: Nice

Mama Spider: Can I join?

The cooler Bird: wtf no

The cooler Bird: you're already on our side

Mama Spider: Well then I'm switching sides

Scarlet Witch: HELL YEAH!!!

Bird: haha

Bird: youre missing a member

The cooler Bird: Who the hell is gonna replace Nat

You know who I am: I'm right here

The cooler Bird: No

You know who I am: >:(

Bird: its too late

Bird: youre gonna have to fight with only 4 members

The cooler Bird: Dammit

Blue Bot: There's another team?

Blue Bot: Can I join?

Scarlet Witch: Of course you can

Scarlet Witch: Any more ladies want to join my team

Avenger: Me

Valkryie: and me

Scarlet Witch: HELL YEAH!!!

Scarlet Witch: I GOT ENOUGH MEMBERS!!!

The cooler Bird: What the hell do you even want from this

The cooler Bird: The Fight is for the title of The Cooler Bird

Scarlet Witch: Loki is on Clint's team and Stephen is on Sam's

Scarlet Witch: So if I win its for the title of The Cooler Wizard/Witch

Sherlock: I prefer Master of the Mystic Arts

Snek Lord: I'm not a wizard

Bird: ok

Bird: the fight is about to start

Bird: let's take attendance

Bird: where are the dank memers

yeeter yarker: here

The Flash⚡: here

Catman: here

Snek Lord: here

Thunderstorm: here

Bird: OK we're complete

The cooler Bird: Hold up

The cooler Bird: Why do you have an extra member

The cooler Bird: I thought we were doing teams of five?!

Bird: well shit

Bird: whatever too late now

The cooler Bird: Fuck you, Clint

Bird: 🖕

The cooler Bird: ok

The cooler Bird: Attendance for The Cooler Team plus a bird

America's Ass: Here

Owner of America's Ass: Here

Sherlock: Here

The cooler Bird: OK we are complete except for Nat, who betrayed us

Scarlet Witch: Shut up bird

Scarlet Witch: Where teh Awesome Ladies

Avenger: Here

Valkryie: Here

Blue Bot: Here

Mama Spider: Right here

Scarlet Witch: Complete

Bird: let the fight begin

You know who I am: wait

You know who I am: what about those who don't have teams

Bird: just watch 

Star Lord: Dammit we won't make it

Star Lord: is anyone willing to describe what is happening

You know who I am: Well I've got nothing to do

You know who I am: So sure

Bruce: I'm willing to too

You know who I am: OK anyone who isn't in The Fight will help the guardians imagine what this is

Ant Boi: Holy shit there are like

Ant Boi: A hundred Stranges

You know who I am: What The fucking hell

You know who I am: Clint is being carried by Pietro

You know who I am: Bridal style

yeeter yarker: I SHIP IT

yeeter yarker: Imma write hawksilver wedding fluff fanfics bout this

Bruce: Wait a minute, Peter

Bruce: Are you fighting while texting?

yeeter yarker: not after this message

You know who I am: This is the most hilarious thing I've ever seen

Star Lord: What is it

You know who I am: So Pietro is carrying Clint bridal style

You know who I am: Then he threw him up in the air

You know who I am: Clint then shoots an arrow at Sam

You know who I am: They both fall down to the ground

You know who I am: face first

Green Girl: oof

Green Girl 2: lol

Bruce: Tony, that's not funny. They could be seriously hurt

You know who I am: Come on Brucey

You know who I am: We've fought worse

Bruce: Uh

Bruce: Tony, you should look at Steve and Bucky

You know who I am: What could capsicle and bucko be doing that I would want to see

You know who I am: What the hell is this

You know who I am: Steve is on Bucky's back

You know who I am: With his shield in front

You know who I am: How can Bucko still see what's in front of him

Star Lord: We're here!

Star Lord: Why are the two leaders still on the ground

Green Girl: Holy Shit Nebula just kicked the cat in the man's holy spot

You know who I am: What the hell did you mean by "man's holy spot" 

Green Girl: I know you know what I mean

You know who I am: Jesus

_4 hours later_

You know who I am: Okay

You know who I am: Everyone's on the floor

You know who I am: unconscious

Bruce: Except for Nat and Peter

Invisible: That was some fight

You know who I am: What the fuck

You know who I am: Where'd you come from

Mantis: We just came from Starbucks

Invisible: It was good

Mantis: Until I accidentally touched the barista's hand and saw all his weird thoughts

Bruce: So like

Bruce: Who won

You know who I am: I guess no one Brucey

You know who I am: Since we're still standing

You know who I am: Let's claim the title of The Cooler Scientists

Bruce: That's actually not bad

Snek Lord: Oh no you don't

You know who I am: wtf

You know who I am: You're still unconscious on the floor

Snek Lord: Am I really there though

Ant Boi: Guys, where did Loki's unconscious body go

Snek Lord: I'M RIGHT HERE BITCHES!!!

Snek Lord: I DIDN'T FALL

Snek Lord: I WILL NOW BE THE COOLER MAGIC CASTER

Snek Lord: AND SINCE BARTON LET ME STAB SOMEONE

Snek Lord: HE CAN BE THE COOLER BIRD

Bird: I have awaken

Bird: le gasp

Bird we won

Bird: eat that Bird

yeeter yarker: awesome

yeeter yarker: can I get a cool title

Bird: of course

Snek Lord: Yes, child

Bird: hey Im the leader

Snek Lord: I just won the fight for us

Snek Lord: and this is how you treat me

Bird: ok fine

Snek Lord: The spider may be The Cooler Spider

yeeter yarker: :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

yeeter yarker: Imma change our names

_yeeter yarker has changed Snek Lord's name to The Cooler Magic Caster_

_yeeter yarker has changed his name to The Cooler Spider_

_The Cooler Spider has changed Bird's name to The Cooler Bird_

The Cooler Bird: ahh

The Cooler Bird: it feels so good

The Cooler Bird: I can't wait to see Sam's reaction when he wakes up

The Cooler Spider: Ms. Widow

The Cooler Spider: You're not mad that I'm the cooler one right

Mama Spider: Never

The Cooler Spider: :D

You know who I am: So what are we gonna do with the others?

The Cooler Bird: let's just leave them

The Cooler Bird: until they wake up

You know who I am: sounds good to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do ya'll want me to put in some hawksilver in here


	4. The Cooler Council

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and the cooler people form the Cooler Council. Others start waking up. Clint made a grave mistake. Tony and Clint are gonna die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having so much fun with this. Thanks for the kudos!

The cooler Bird: Did ya'll really just leave us there?!

You know who I am: Maybe

The Cooler Bird: ah shit

The Cooler Bird: we forgot to change their names

The Cooler Spider: I'm on it

_The Cooler Spider has changed The cooler Bird's name to Bird_

Bird: What?!

Bird: I don't remember your team still being up

The Cooler Magic Caster: I did not fall

The Cooler Magic Caster: That's how we won

The Cooler Magic Caster: What you saw was the illusion of my unconscious body

_The Cooler Magic Caster changed his name to Snek Lord_

Snek Lord: And as much as I love my title

Snek Lord: it's too long for me

The Cooler Spider: aww

The Cooler Spider: but I was just about to suggest that we form The Cooler Council

_Snek Lord has changed his name to The Cooler Magician_

The Cooler Magician: After some research

The Cooler Magician: I found out that I have abilities similar to a magician

The Cooler Magician: So I am able to shorten my name

The Cooler Magician: We can form the council

The Cooler Spider: it ok

The Cooler Spider: imma change mine back too

The Cooler Spider: and we can use the names during council meetings

The Cooler Bird: except for me

The Cooler Bird: im keeping my name the way it is

The Cooler Magician: Alright

The Cooler Spider: you know what

The Cooler Spider: let's have a meeting now

You know who I am: Do you guys really have to do cult shit here in the chat now

The Cooler Spider: Let us commence our meeting

The Cooler Spider: State your name for attendance

You know who I am: oh fuck they're starting

The Cooler Spider: The Cooler Spider

The Cooler Magician: The Cooler Magician

The Cooler Bird: The Cooler Bird

The Cooler Spider : Good

The Cooler Spider: Our topic for today will be what the use of this council is

The Cooler Bird: I suggest we use it for any major group chat decisions

The Cooler Magician: I second that

The Cooler Spider: It is decided then

The Cooler Spider: We will watch out for any major group chat changes

The Cooler Spider: The meeting is over

The Cooler Spider: The Cooler Spider

The Cooler Magician: The Cooler Magician

The Cooler Bird: The Cooler Bird

_The Cooler Spider has changed his name to yeeter yarker_

_The Cooler Magician has changed his name to Snek Lord_

Bird: What in God's name was all that

SHUR-YEET: Wow

SHUR-YEET: can I join

yeeter yarker: not unless you are the cooler one in something

SHUR-YEET: just wait

SHUR-YEET: I will find out what that is

Snek Lord: The council will wait

SHUR-YEET: By the way, Peter

SHUR-YEET: I've got to tell you something

yeeter yarker: what

SHUR-YEET: Mary is that a police

yeeter yarker: I'm calling the weed

yeeter yarker: I have no soul

SHUR-YEET: neither do I

yeeter yarker: I said whoever threw that paper

SHUR-YEET: your mom's a hoe

SHUR-YEET: get yo fucking dog bitch

yeeter yarker: it don't bite

SHUR-YEET: Yes it do

yeeter yarker: Can I get a waffle

yeeter yarker: can I please get a waffle

SHUR-YEET: DON'T FUCK WITH ME

SHUR-YEET: I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE

yeeter yarker: AAHHHHHHHH

Star Lord: What the hell

Catman: Don't mind them

You know who I am: It's their special language

SHUR-YEET: Oh hey

SHUR-YEET: You're finally awake

SHUR-YEET: We need to decide who's the Cooler Wakandan

Catman: What

SHUR-YEET: I want to join the Cooler Council

SHUR-YEET: but I can't join unless I'm the Cooler something

Thunderstorm: I have awaken! 

Thunderstorm: Did The Dank Memers win?

The Cooler Bird: they fucking did

The Cooler Bird: thanks to your bro

Thunderstorm: Loki! You've brought us victory!

Snek Lord: All I did was chill inside

Snek Lord: Helping myself to Stark's expensive liquor

You know who I am: You what?!

Snek Lord: Everybody was busy outside

Snek Lord: So no one saw me

Thunderstorm: Anyway, we must return to New Asgard

Snek Lord: But I don't want to

Thunderstorm: Loki

Snek Lord: NO

Thunderstorm: Stark, may I ask a favor

You know who I am: I feel as if it has something to do with letting Loki stay here

Thunderstorm: Can you provide a place for Loki here in the compound

You know who I am: I knew it

You know who I am: Fine

You know who I am: Horny can stay

Snek Lord: What did you just call me

You know who I am: Oh look at the time

You know who I am: I've got stuff to work on

You know who I am: There are some spare rooms somewhere so you can pick any

You know who I am: Bye!

yeeter yarker: lol

yeeter yarker: Mr. Stark was scared of Loki

Thunderstorm: Thank you, Stark!

yeeter yarker: Loki there's a spare room next to mine

yeeter yarker: wanna be neighbours

Snek Lord: Sure

The Flash⚡: OMG

The Flash⚡: We won!

The Cooler Bird: YEAH

The Flash⚡: Wait

The Flash⚡: I scrolled up

The Flash⚡: What's the Cooler council

yeeter yarker: it's the council of cooler people

The Flash⚡: Sweet!

The Flash⚡: Can I join

Snek Lord: No

yeeter yarker: Not unless you're the cooler twin

The Cooler Bird: sorry

The Cooler Bird: they made the rules

America's Ass: What the hell? 

America's Ass: Why are we all outside? 

America's Ass: Why is everyone else unconscious?! 

yeeter yarker: The Fight

Owner of America's Ass: OK but who won

The Cooler Bird: my team as you can see

yeeter yarker: Hey, Mr. Steve and Mr. Bucky

America's Ass: What is it now Peter

yeeter yarker: who between the two of you

yeeter yarker: is the cooler super soldier

Owner of America's Ass: Me, obviously

America's Ass: Is this for another one of your fanfics?

yeeter yarker: not this time

yeeter yarker: the Cooler Council is trying to recruit more cooler people

America's Ass: The what?

Owner of America's Ass: He said the Cooler Council.

America's Ass: I knew that.

You know who I am: Wow! A council!

You know who I am: Can I join?

The Cooler Bird: no way in fucking hell 

You know who I am: What's fucking?

The Cooler Bird: Are you drunk right now Tony

Snek Lord: He can't 

Snek Lord: I drank all his liquor

You know who I am: Actually

You know who I am: This is Morgan!

You know who I am: Daddy lent me his phone while he worked

You know who I am: What does fucking mean

The Cooler Bird: oh fuck

yeeter yarker: uh oh

yeeter yarker: you're in trouble Mr. Hawkeye

Owner of America's Ass: I suggest you hide

Bird: You've messed up now Barton 

The Cooler Bird: oh shit oh fuck oh shit oh fuck oh shit oh fuck oh shit oh fuck

The Flash⚡: is it a good idea to continue swearing in front of the child

The Cooler Bird: FUCK I KEEP MESSING UP

America's Ass: You need to stop swearing in front of the child!

The Cooler Bird: oh shoot oh frick oh shoot oh frick oh shoot oh frick oh shoot oh frick oh shoot oh frick

Pepps: What's going on here?

The Cooler Bird: AHHHHHHHHH

Owner of America's Ass: RIP

The Flash⚡: F

yeeter yarker: F

SHUR-YEET: F

Bird: F

You know who I am: Hi Mommy!

You know who I am: It's me Morgan!

Pepps: Hi sweetie

Pepps: What are you doing in the group chat

You know who I am: Daddy lent me his phone

You know who I am: Can I ask you something

Pepps: Sure

You know who I am: What does fuck mean

Bird: Oh you're so dead now

Owner of America's Ass: The only way to survive is to change your name and flee the country

Pepps: Morgan, who taught you that word?

The Flash⚡: You better start praying to God

Snek Lord: Preferably me

You know who I am: Mr. Clint said it when he thought I was Daddy

_The Cooler Bird left the group_

Pepps: Morgan, give Daddy his phone back

You know who I am: Okie!

_Pepps added The Cooler Bird to the chat_

Pepps: You better start running

You know who I am: I'm coming after you too!

You know who I am: This is now yours truly not Morgan

Pepps: You better start running too

You know who I am: wait what

Pepps: You lent her your phone

You know who I am: Fuck

The Cooler Bird: let's go Tony before she catches up

You know who I am: way ahead of you

yeeter yarker: everybody press f in the chat for Mr. Stark and Mr. Barton

yeeter yarker: F

The Flash⚡: F

SHUR-YEET: F

Owner of America's Ass: F

America's Ass: F

Snek Lord: F

Bird: F

Thunderstorm: F

Ant Boi: F

Star Lord: F

Invisible: F

Mantis: F

Not a Raccoon: F

Tree: F

Valkryie: F

Avenger: F

Scarlet Witch: F

Green Girl: F

Green Girl 2: F

Blue Bot: F

yeeter yarker: Rest in pieces Mr. Stark

yeeter yarker: Rest in pieces Mr. Barton


	5. Can We Stop Talking About It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky almost sends nudes to the group. Shuri joins The Cooler Council. Clint and Tony make Steve drink at 10 in the morning. And Tony learns something about his dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have no real excuse for why this took so long. I just got lazy. That's it. Anyways enjoy.

Owner of America's Ass: Steve, I'm bored

Owner of America's Ass: Why don't you send me some stuff ;) ;) ;) ;)

Bird: WTF

You know who I am: NOT IN THIS CHAT

yeeter yarker: Mr. Bucky I love your relationship with Mr. Rogers

yeeter yarker: but pls dont do it here

America's Ass: Wrong chat, Buck.

Owner of America's Ass: Fuck

Owner of America's Ass: You weren't supposed to see that

You know who I am: Then maybe you shouldn't send it to the group

Owner of America's Ass: I thought I was sending it to Steve

yeeter yarker: but the group name is The Avengers

yeeter yarker: how do u mistake that for Mr. Rogers

Owner of America's Ass: First of all his contact name is Punk

America's Ass: And on mine Bucky is Jerk

Bird: Is that related to you sexting Steve

Owner of America's Ass: Can we talk about something else

The Cooler Bird: I just woke up

The Cooler Bird: I check my phone

The Cooler Bird: and see that everyone is talking about sexting or something

You know who I am: Actually we're talking about Bucky almost sexting the whole group

Owner of America's Ass: Pls stop

yeeter yarker: by the way Mr. Stark and Mr. Barton

yeeter yarker: how are u guys alive

yeeter yarker: I thought Pepper killed ya'll

The Cooler Bird: she killed us with a fucking lecture

America's Ass: Language

The Cooler Bird: shut it

The Cooler Bird: you probably swear a lot in bed

Owner of America's Ass: he's not wrong

America's Ass: Bucky!

America's Ass: Seriously though

America's Ass: We need to stop swearing in the group

You know who I am: That's not happening

You know who I am: What we really need to stop is Bucko here sexting the group

Owner of America's Ass: Can we stop talking about it

You know who I am: Never

You know who I am: It'll be like when cap first said language

yeeter yarker: I have a solution

yeeter yarker: we'll have a council meeting

The Cooler Bird: hell yeah

SHUR-YEET: Wait I'm now the Cooler Wakandan

SHUR-YEET: can I join

Snek Lord: No

yeeter yarker: maybe

yeeter yarker: we'll have a meeting on that too

yeeter yarker: let us begin

_yeeter yarker has changed his name to The Cooler Spider_

_Snek Lord has changed his name to The Cooler Magician_

The Cooler Bird: its already my name

You know who I am: Dammit not more cult shit

The Cooler Spider: The Cooler Spider

The Cooler Magician: The Cooler Magician

The Cooler Bird: The Cooler Bird

The Cooler Spider: Let us officially begin

The Cooler Spider: First, should Shuri join the Council

SHUR-YEET: HELL YEAH I SHOULD

The Cooler Bird: she should

The Cooler Magician: No

The Cooler Spider: Then let's vote

The Cooler Spider: Who is in favor of Shuri joining

The Cooler Bird: me

The Cooler Spider: me

SHUR-YEET: FUCK YEAH I'M IN THE COUNCIL!!!

The Cooler Magician: Ok

The Cooler Magician: I'm cool with you now

SHUR-YEET: Aw yeah

The Cooler Spider: You are now known as The Cooler Wakandan in the council

The Cooler Spider: Change your name now we have another thing to discuss

_SHUR-YEET has changed her name to The Cooler Wakandan_

Catman: I'm sorry but when did we decide that you were the cooler one

The Cooler Spider: Now

The Cooler Spider: Should we stop swearing in the chat

The Cooler Spider: Let's vote

The Cooler Bird: I'll never stop

The Cooler Wakandan: Fuck no

The Cooler Magician: I'll only say yes so I can terrorise the captain

The Cooler Spider: Then nothing has changed

The Cooler Spider: We will still swear

The Cooler Spider: The Cooler Spider

The Cooler Magician: The Cooler Magician

The Cooler Bird: The Cooler Bird

The Cooler Wakandan: The Cooler Wakandan

_The Cooler Spider has changed his name to yeeter yarker_

_The Cooler Magician has changed his name to Snek Lord_

_The Cooler Wakandan has changed her name to SHUR-YEET_

America's Ass: You guys need to make actual decisions

yeeter yarker: then maybe you should join the council

America's Ass: I'm not joining a cult

SHUR-YEET: it's a council

The Cooler Bird: I'm mad that you even suggested we stop swearing so

The Cooler Bird: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH

America's Ass: I need a drink

Owner of America's Ass: It's 10 in the morning

America's Ass: Loki do you have any of the Asgardian stuff Thor usually has

Snek Lord: He never gave me any

America's Ass: But you took some from him without him knowing

Snek Lord: What do you think of me

Snek Lord: Of course I did

America's Ass: Great, I really need some

You know who I am: You know I've got something better than that

America's Ass: Yeah, well it can't get me drunk

Owner of America's Ass: Steve, it's too early to drink

America's Ass: And it's too early to sext

Owner of America's Ass: Can we all just drop it

Mama Spider: That's not likely

The Cooler Bird: Hey Nat!

Mama Spider: Hello Cooler Bird

The Cooler Bird: :)

You know who I am: You know Barton

You know who I am: Swearing at Steve sounds fun

You know who I am: imma try it

You know who I am: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

America's Ass: You know what

America's Ass: You are my friend

America's Ass: And I didn't want to say this but

America's Ass: I slept with Howard

yeeter yarker: :o

Owner of America's Ass: I did too

Owner of America's Ass: I actually wanted to say that a long time ago, but Steve wouldn't let me

yeeter yarker: :o :o

You know who I am: YOU WHAT

America's Ass: Me and Bucky slept with your dad

The Cooler Bird: oof

The Flash⚡: Top 10 anime betrayals

You know who I am: I'm gonna fucking get you

Owner of America's Ass: You didn't get us last time

You know who I am: That's fucking it

You know who I am: This time I'm bringing out the suit

Pepps: Will everyone stop starting fights?!

You know who I am: We aren't fighting

America's Ass: Yeah, we weren't

Owner of America's Ass: Exactly what they said

Pepps: I'll be keeping an eye on this group chat

Owner of America's Ass: Tony, your wife's scary

You know who I am: Not as scary as when I thought you were going to send nudes in the chat

Owner of America's Ass: Oh my god

Owner of America's Ass: Pls stop

Owner of America's Ass: I'm begging you

You know who I am: Never

You know who I am: ok

You know who I am: I'm over you guys sleeping with my dad now

America's Ass: Good

America's Ass: Loki get the mead

Snek Lord: I'm on it

yeeter yarker: :D

yeeter yarker: What a happy ending

The Cooler Bird: Guys wait

The Cooler Bird: I want a drink too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time I won't procrastinate on the next one.


	6. Pizza For Newlyweds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pizza Hut is giving pizza to newlyweds and Clint wants some. Tony is a pineapple pizza monster. Pietro wants some pizza too. The unmarried people ask their boyfriends when they will propose. A new couple is born.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you I wasn't going to procrastinate this time. Anyways I don't think pizza hut is actually giving away free pizza for newlyweds.

The Cooler Bird: guys

The Cooler Bird: Pizza Hut is giving away free pizza for newlyweds

You know who I am: I feel like you're going to ask me and Pepper to get some

The Cooler Bird: yes pls

Pepps: No

The Cooler Bird: why

Pepps: We got married a couple years ago

You know who I am: We could just lie and say last week

Pepps: Seriously

Pepps: Fine, we are going to get one for ourselves

You know who I am: OMG thank you, Pepper

You know who I am: Can we get Hawaiian

yeeter yarker: D:<

yeeter yarker: what the hell Mr. Stark

yeeter yarker: you're insane

yeeter yarker: I can't believe I call you dad

You know who I am: What's going on

The Flash⚡: The thing that's going on is you

The Flash⚡: LIKING PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA

Scarlet Witch: Pietro pls

Scarlet Witch: I actually like hawaiian

The Flash⚡: >:o

The Flash⚡: I can't believe you're my sister

The Cooler Bird: I can't believe youre my friend

SHUR-YEET: only Satan himself eats that shit

Owner of America's Ass: the kid is right though

Owner of America's Ass: Pineapple on pizza sucks

The Cooler Bird: seriously tho

The Cooler Bird: are there any newlyweds in the group who would get me some pizza

The Cooler Bird: Steve

The Cooler Bird: when are you marrying Bucky

Owner of America's Ass: Yeah Steve, when?

America's Ass: I'd rather not answer

The Flash⚡: Ugh

The Flash⚡: I wanted pizza too

The Cooler Bird: oh my god

The Cooler Bird: Pietro I just got the greatest idea for Pizza Hut pizzas

The Flash⚡: What

The Cooler Bird: So 10 years ago I bought an engagement ring even if I was single

America's Ass: Why would you do that

The Cooler Bird: So I could propose to myself in the mirror

Mama Spider: Clint, I'm disappointed

The Cooler Bird: Whatever :')

The Flash⚡: Come on

The Flash⚡: what's the plan

The Cooler Bird: OK one sec

You know who I am: you guys wanna bet on what he does

Owner of America's Ass: How much

America's Ass: No

Owner of America's Ass: Dammit Steve you never let me have fun

America's Ass: Pretty sure we had fun last night

You know who I am: Please

You know who I am: Leave your sex life out of the chat

yeeter yarker: don't worry guys

yeeter yarker: I can listen all day

America's Ass: Peter, not now

The Flash⚡: oh my god

The Flash⚡: Clint where the fuck are you

The Flash⚡: you better not be getting free pizza without me

The Cooler Bird: OK I'm ready

The Cooler Bird: I didnt want to do this in the chat but

The Cooler Bird: Pietro Maximoff

The Cooler Bird: Will you marry me

You know who I am: Seriously

You know who I am: This is your plan for pizza

The Flash⚡: Holy crap

The Flash⚡: Fuck yes

The Flash⚡: I will marry you

The Cooler Bird: :)

The Flash⚡: :)

The Cooler Bird: *kisses

The Flash⚡: *kisses back

You know who I am: All this for pizza

yeeter yarker: Dammit

yeeter yarker: I'm still too young to get married

You know who I am: Who would you even marry

yeeter yarker: doesn't matter

Scarlet Witch: Aww yeah

Scarlet Witch: Mah bro is engaged

Scarlet Witch: When's the Wedding

Scarlet Witch: Dibs on maid of honor 

The Cooler Bird: the promo runs for the rest of the month and we want pizza everyday for the rest of the month

The Cooler Bird: so next week

Scarlet Witch: We need to start planning now

Scarlet Witch: Natasha pls help

Mama Spider: I already have 5 different wedding cakes and 2 suits tailored for the two grooms

The Cooler Bird: omg thanks Nat

The Flash⚡: Wait why do u have wedding cakes and suits

Mama Spider: Because I'm Mama Spider

You know who I am: Screw it

You know who I am: I'm paying for this wedding

yeeter yarker: you guys don't mind if I write this down

yeeter yarker: I'm putting this on ao3

The Flash⚡: Fuck yeah! I wanna be famous

America's Ass: You're already famous, you're an Avenger

The Flash⚡: Whatever gramps

The Cooler Bird: Nat can we have some cake

Mama Spider: You can have some during the wedding

The Cooler Bird: but you have 5

You know who I am: Now that I think about it

You know who I am: Are the two of you even in the same room

The Flash⚡: Nah

The Cooler Bird: nope

You know who I am: You proposed in the chat

The Cooler Bird: yup

You know who I am: and you're doing all this just for pizza

The Cooler Bird: yeah

You know who I am: Ok

You know who I am: Where are you getting married

You know who I am: I'm too tired and I'm paying

The Flash⚡: Can we do it on the roof

The Flash⚡: I've always wanted to get married on a roof

The Cooler Bird: hell yeah let's do it on the roof

You know who I am: Fine

Scarlet Witch: I need to know

Scarlet Witch: is either of you gonna wear a dress instead of a suit

The Flash⚡: I wanna wear a veil

The Flash⚡: Without the dress

Scarlet Witch: You want to only wear the veil

The Flash⚡: Exactly

Mama Spider: I also have a veil

The Cooler Bird: geez where'd you get all this wedding stuff

Mama Spider: I'm not saying

The Cooler Bird: OK

Mama Spider: Good answer

The Cooler Bird: hey what if I wanted the wedding tomorrow

The Flash⚡: I want that too

Scarlet Witch: Then we'll do it

The Cooler Bird: Pietro dear

The Cooler Bird: should everyone we know be there

You know who I am: No that's too many people

The Flash⚡: Of course

Star Lord: We're invited?!

You know who I am: Where the fuck did you come from

Tree: I am Groot

Not a Raccoon: We're going to crash this wedding

Mantis: I've always wanted to go to attend a wedding

Invisible: We'll see if I'll be there

Green Girl: I think it's a great idea

Green Girl: Right Peter

yeeter yarker: wha

Star Lord: She means me

Star Lord: I think its cool

Green Girl: Great, when's ours

Star Lord: wha

Green Girl: We'll deal with it later

Green Girl 2: I'm not going

Green Girl 2: I don't like weddings

Green Girl 2: Especially with Quill

Star Lord: Hey

Thunderstorm: Thank you Barton for the invitation!

Thunderstorm: Loki and I will be there

Snek Lord: No

Snek Lord: I don't want to go

Thunderstorm: Loki

Snek Lord: NO

The Cooler Bird: why not

The Cooler Bird: we're in the same council

Snek Lord: So

The Cooler Bird: Peter do something

yeeter yarker: Mr. Loki pls go

yeeter yarker: I like you the most out of everyone

You know who I am: What about me

Snek Lord: Ok

The Cooler Bird: nice 

The Flash⚡: Yay

The Flash⚡: After this we can have all the pizza we want

The Cooler Bird: hell yeah

The Cooler Bird: reminder that the wedding is tomorrow

The Flash⚡: FREE PIZZA

The Cooler Bird: FREE PIZZA


	7. After The Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Bird and the Flash are married and on their way to Vegas. Peter introduces us to Ryan Reynolds. Steve becomes a fanfic reader. I show up a bit. The Cooler Council needs more members.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'd think that quarantine would mean more chapters. Apparently I work on procrastination. Since there's no homework that means nothing to procrastinate on. All I've done this past month was watch Netflix play games eat sleep repeat. Sorry for that so have some Deadpool.

The Cooler Bird: I'M MARRIED!!! 

The Flash⚡: ME TOO!!!

yeeter yarker: HELL YEAH!!!

The Cooler Bird: WE CAN FINALLY GET FREE PIZZA!!!

The Flash⚡: VEGAS PIZZA!!!

Scarlet Witch: WELCOME TO THE MAXIMOFFS BARTON!!!

You know who I am: Hold up

You know who I am: What do you mean Vegas Pizza?

The Cooler Bird: oh we're going to Vegas for our honeymoon

The Flash⚡: They also have free pizza there

You know who I am: You didn't mention that

You know who I am: I'm not paying for that

The Cooler Bird: yeah well one problem

The Flash⚡: We're sorta already on a plane

You know who I am: You get off that plane right now

The Cooler Bird: OK two problems

The Flash⚡: We're already in the air

You know who I am: I said I'd pay for the wedding

You know who I am: Honeymoon not included

The Flash⚡: Too late sucker

You know who I am: Damn you

yeeter yarker: hey guys

yeeter yarker: I want to introduce you all to someone

You know who I am: who is it

yeeter yarker: he's not really an Avenger but he's awesome

America's Ass: Well then you can add him to the chat

yeeter yarker: yay!!!

You know who I am: Wait a minute is it who I think it is

_yeeter yarker added Ryan Reynolds lookalike to the chat_

yeeter yarker: everyone meet Deadpool

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Why hello there everybody

You know who I am: dammit Peter I told you to stop hanging out with garbage

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: The fandom wouldn't agree with that

Owner of America's Ass: Why's your name Ryan Reynolds lookalike

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: that's cause I am Ryan Reynolds

SHUR-YEET: :o

SHUR-YEET: Peter you know Ryan Reynolds

yeeter yarker: no

yeeter yarker: Deadpool's real name is Wade Wilson

Bird: another Wilson

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Why hello there Sam Wilson

You know who I am: This is why you shouldn't hang out with him Peter

You know who I am: He thinks he's some actor

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Oh please

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: I don't think I am Ryan Reynolds

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: I know that he's my actor

You know who I am: Why is he even here

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: I'm here because the author decided to write me in as an apology to her readers for not updating in a month

You know who I am: What author

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: The one who wrote this fanfic we are currently in

You know who I am: Peter take the garbage out

yeeter yarker: Ok

yeeter yarker: can I have some money tho I wanna take him to somewhere nice

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Oooh

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: interesting

You know who I am: NOT ON A DATE

America's Ass: Am I the only one who's interested in whatever fanfic Wade's talking about?

yeeter yarker: when did u learn what fanfics were

Owner of America's Ass: Last night

Owner of America's Ass: I finally told him what Stucky was

Owner of America's Ass: Pretty sure you were traumatised Steve

America's Ass: Actually...

Owner of America's Ass: What

America's Ass: Since last night up to now I have read about a hundred fics

America's Ass: I enjoyed it

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: lol that's what author did except she started when last updated this fic

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Anyways this fic I'm talking about

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: We're all in a cracky group chat fic

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: and I'm the newest character

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Read the last 6 chapters over and over again

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (like author)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: dammit Wade)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: you weren't supposed to say that)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Whatever

The Cooler Bird: hmmmmm

The Cooler Bird: I don't believe you and neither does my husband

The Cooler Bird: right honey

The Flash⚡: It sounds a little wack

The Flash⚡: If you really read this so called fic

The Flash⚡: What happens in the last chapter

The Cooler Bird: we should definitely know that

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Birdbrain over here proposed to you in the chat just for pizza

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: and some of the other couples asked their guy when's their wedding

The Flash⚡: Wait if that's the last chapter what chapter is the wedding

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: No chapter

The Cooler Bird: what but the wedding was awesome

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: I have no idea what the wedding was like because there wasn't a chapter on it

The Cooler Bird: I don't buy it

The Flash⚡: Me neither

You know who I am: dammit

You know who I am: Peter can you guys have a council meeting on whether Deadpool can stay

You know who I am: It is a major group chat decision

yeeter yarker: damn

yeeter yarker: he's right

yeeter yarker: sorry Wade

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: It's alright

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: author wouldn't get rid of me anyway

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: you're damn right I won't)

SHUR-YEET: So we having a meeting or not

yeeter yarker: oh right

_yeeter yarker has changed his name to The Cooler Spider_

_Snek Lord has changed his name to The Cooler Magician_

_SHUR-YEET has changed her name to The Cooler Wakandan_

The Cooler Spider: Let us begin

The Cooler Spider: Should we let Wade stay in the group chat

The Cooler Spider: Let us vote

The Cooler Spider: He's my best friend so yes

The Cooler Wakandan: He seems cool and he's Peter's best friend so

The Cooler Wakandan: Yes

The Cooler Bird: He's wack and I don't like him

The Cooler Bird: If we are in a fic the author would obviously write our wedding

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (Bookstofanfic: sorry Clint, I wouldn't cuz I'd rather not write a wedding in a group chat that's weirder than any of these)

The Cooler Bird: THEY WOULDN'T

The Cooler Spider: Silence Bird

The Cooler Spider: Loki what do you think

The Cooler Magician: He's chaotic like me

The Cooler Magician: But I should be the only chaotic one

The Cooler Magician: He's not staying

The Cooler Spider: Damn

The Cooler Spider: it's a tie

The Cooler Spider: We need a tiebreaker

You know who I am: May I speak to the council

The Cooler Spider: Should he guys

The Cooler Wakandan: Why not

The Cooler Bird: Ok

The Cooler Magician: No

The Cooler Spider: You may speak, Irondad

You know who I am: Thank you Peter

You know who I am: I suggest that you guys recruit some more members

You know who I am: And maybe keep the number of members odd

The Cooler Spider: Not a bad idea

The Cooler Spider: The meeting is paused until we have enough members

The Cooler Spider: The Cooler Spider

You know who I am: Wait what about Deadpool

The Cooler Magician: The Cooler Magician

The Cooler Bird: The Cooler Bird

The Cooler Wakandan: The Cooler Wakandan

_The Cooler Spider has changed his name to yeeter yarker_

_The Cooler Magician has changed his name to Snek Lord_

_The Cooler Wakandan has changed her name to SHUR-YEET_

yeeter yarker: hey so we need more members

yeeter yarker: we will recruit at least five

yeeter yarker: so you better be the Cooler one

SHUR-YEET: I think we should see who's The Cooler Supersoldier

America's Ass: Sorry but I don't wanna join

Owner of America's Ass: HELL YEAH!!! I'M GONNA BEAT YOU STEVE FOR THIS SPOT ON THE COUNCIL

Owner of America's Ass: YOU BETTER COMPETE WITH ME OR ELSE

America's Ass: Uh, sure Buck

Snek Lord: Aren't my brother and Shuri's brother kings

Snek Lord: They could compete for The Cooler King

Thunderstorm: That is a great idea!

Catman: I accept

SHUR-YEET: Brother you better win this

You know who I am: What about me and Brucey

You know who I am: For The Cooler Scientist

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: You mean the title you tried to snatch when you thought both teams lost

Scarlet Witch: I WANNA BE THE COOLER TWIN

The Flash⚡: No way

The Flash⚡: I'm gonna be The Cooler Twin

yeeter yarker: thank u guys for wanting to join

yeeter yarker: but leave it to the council to select who will be joining

The Cooler Bird: As The Cooler Bird in the council

The Cooler Bird: I approve Pietro to compete for The Cooler Twin with Wanda

SHUR-YEET: My brother will fight Thor

Snek Lord: I approve this

You know who I am: So who's going to approve The Cooler Scientist

yeeter yarker: sorry Mr. Stark

yeeter yarker: we can't approve that yet

You know who I am: Why not

yeeter yarker: Because you need a council member who hasn't approved one yet

You know who I am: Who did you approve?!

yeeter yarker: Mr. Rogers and Mr. Barnes

You know who I am: dammit Steve

You know who I am: What are we going to do with Deadpool

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: I'm staying for the next chapters

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: and maybe more

America's Ass: This is going to be like The Fight isn't it

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Hey that's my favorite chapter!


	8. The Cooler Supersoldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cooler Supersoldier entered the chat. The actors come and go. Deadpool. Me too. Very little to do with the title.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More chapters as apology. One more after this.

yeeter yarker: welp 

yeeter yarker: it's time to choose who The Cooler Supersoldier is

Owner of America's Ass: HELL YEAH I'M GONNA BE THE ONE IN THE COUNCIL

America's Ass: Bucky pls calm down

Owner of America's Ass: NEVER JSNDJD DJDND JD D D DNDN DNDJD DNIDND CJBC WIQNX

America's Ass: WTF

yeeter yarker: we have one problem tho

America's Ass: And that is

yeeter yarker: we don't know how to decide

Snek Lord: I have an idea

yeeter yarker: really what is it

Snek Lord: One moment

_Snek Lord has added Chwistopher, Seabass, Mack-attack, You know who I am, Scarjo, Thor, Tom H 1, Tom H 2, Benadryl Cucumbermatch and Renner!!! to the chat_

Chwistopher: Don't we already have a group chat

Seabass: yeah who made this

You know who I am: wasn't me

Snek Lord: Hello and welcome to our universe

Chwistopher: oh shit not again

You know who I am: Who is this person with the same name

You know who I am: You know who I am

You know who I am: No I don't

Tom H 2: OMG!!! IS PETER HERE?! PETER PARKER

yeeter yarker: that's me

Tom H 1: No

Tom H 1: **NO**

Tom H 1: This world's Loki better not have brought us here just to complain about me

Snek Lord: Calm down

Snek Lord: I think you're doing great in portraying me

Chwistopher: That's great and all

Chwistopher: But why are we here

Chwistopher: This has already happened before

Snek Lord: I summoned you because our council leader needs help

Seabass: there's a council here

yeeter yarker: yup and I'm the leader

You know who I am: Help with what

yeeter yarker: help with choosing who to recruit

Owner of America's Ass: They need help choosing between me and Stevie

America's Ass: You can have the spot

America's Ass: I'm not joining a cult

Owner of America's Ass: It Is A cOuNcIl NoT a CuLt

Mack-attack: haha

Mack-attack: I like these names

Seabass: Chris look

Seabass: I found the Steve and Bucky of this universe

Chwistopher: That's great Seb

Chwistopher: Just great

Thunderstorm: Loki what did you do

Snek Lord: I simply plucked these people from an alternate universe where we are movies based on comics

yeeter yarker: I had a dream like that once

Tom H 2: :o

Tom H 2: So did the other Peter

You know who I am: So once again a Loki brought us to another universe

You know who I am: Who are you and why do you have the same name

You know who I am: Since you sound so desperate

You know who I am: Robert Downey Jr.

You know who I am: No way

You know who I am: No fucking way

You know who I am: There is no way that this is RDJ

yeeter yarker: Mr. Stark I'm having a hard time knowing which you know who I am you are so

yeeter yarker: TIME FOR YOU TO BE MY IRONDAD

_yeeter yarker changed You know who I am's name to Irondad_

yeeter yarker: :D

yeeter yarker: I think

Irondad: Thankfully you did change the right one

Scarjo: Just out of curiosity

Scarjo: Are the Steve and Bucky here a thing

Owner of America's Ass: We are and he's mine

Scarjo: In the other universe the two of you helped Chris and Seb get into a relationship

America's Ass: That actually sounds nice

Scarjo: Chris also kissed the Bucky there

America's Ass: Interesting

Irondad: We need to know

Irondad: Who exactly are you guys

You know who I am: Your actors

Irondad: Says the guy who thinks he's RDJ

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Ahh

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: I remember when Ryan Reynolds did an ASMRDJ

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: That RDJ cookie was delicious

Sherlock: So I looked into different timelines and apparently

Sherlock: As Chris had just said before

Sherlock: You guys are from a different universe

Sherlock: Where we are indeed movie characters

Benadryl Cucumbermatch: You must be Stephen

Sherlock: and... You're supposed to be Benedict Cumberbatch...

Benadryl Cucumbermatch: Did you know you and Stark were in a relationship in the universe we first went to

Sherlock: Yes... There are many timelines where me and Stark were lovers

Irondad: Are you saying I tapped that ass

Irondad: in multiple universes

Sherlock: Yes

Irondad: Damn

Irondad: I wouldn't mind doing it in this one to add one more to the amount of timelines we fucked in

Pepps: Tony!

Irondad: I'm so sorry Pepper

Irondad: It was only a joke I didn't mean it

Irondad: pls forgive me

Irondad: 😫😫😫

Pepps: What I said was also a joke then

Irondad: OMG thank you Pepper 😚😚😚

America's Ass: Since you are all actors who apparently play us

America's Ass: Would you kindly tell us who plays who and your real names 

Chwistopher: I play you

America's Ass: And your real name?

Chwistopher: Chris Evans

Owner of America's Ass: Now that you mention it Steve does look like Chris Evans

Owner of America's Ass: But with his beard from back then

yeeter yarker: What about me

yeeter yarker: Who do I look like

SHUR-YEET: You really look like Tom Holland

Tom H 2: That's me! :D

Irondad: If RDJ has the same username

Irondad: does that mean he's me

You know who I am: Maybe

Irondad: Yes I got RDJ

Renner!!!: Where's Barton

Renner!!!: I wanna hang out with this one

Mama Spider: He's on his honeymoon

Renner!!!: Good for him I guess

Renner!!!: With Laura?

Scarlet Witch: With my brother

Scarlet Witch: Who the hell is Laura

Renner!!!: Uhh no one

Renner!!!: Who is your brother

Scarlet Witch: It's Pietro

Renner!!!: Clint married Pietro

The Cooler Bird: who the hell is Laura

Renner!!!: NOBODY

Sherlock: That would be your wife in different timelines

Sherlock: You had 3 kids with her

The Cooler Bird: who would want to marry this

The Flash⚡: Ahem

The Cooler Bird: oh right my husband

Renner!!!: So how did you get together

The Cooler Bird: uhhh

The Flash⚡: Crap

Renner!!!: ?

The Cooler Bird: pizza

The Flash⚡: Yeah pizza

Renner!!!: I have no idea what that means

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Just read chapter 6 of this on ao3

Thor: Chris Hemsworth and I think the rest is obvious

yeeter yarker: wait

yeeter yarker: if Chris Hemsworth is Australian and Thor is technically an alien

yeeter yarker: does that mean they're Australien

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: lol author stole that joke

Sherlock: Anyways

Sherlock: I can send you all back to your universe

yeeter yarker: wait

yeeter yarker: we still haven't decided who The Cooler Supersoldier is yet

You know who I am: Is that why we were summoned

Snek Lord: Yes

yeeter yarker: OK

yeeter yarker: for this meeting we will be joined by our actors

_yeeter yarker has changed his name to The Cooler Spider_

_Snek Lord has changed his name to The Cooler Magician_

_SHUR-YEET has changed her name to The Cooler Wakandan_

The Cooler Spider: The Cooler Spider

The Cooler Magician: The Cooler Magician

The Cooler Bird: The Cooler Bird

The Cooler Wakandan: The Cooler Wakandan

You know who I am: What the fuck

The Cooler Spider: Let us commence

The Cooler Spider: We are supposed to vote for who shall be The Cooler Supersoldier

The Cooler Spider: But due to an even amount of members

The Cooler Spider: Loki summoned some people to decide for us

The Cooler Magician: You can thank me now

The Cooler Bird: this is really nice but I'm still on my honeymoon

The Flash⚡: Its OK honey

The Flash⚡: Finish the meeting first

The Cooler Spider: Can the actors state their name for attendance

Chwistopher: Do we have to

The Cooler Spider: YES IT'S COUNCIL RULES

You know who I am: alright I'll start

You know who I am: Robert Downey Jr.

The Cooler Spider: Good. Now continue

Chwistopher: Uhh, Chris Evans

Seabass: Sebastian Stan

Owner of America's Ass: I KNEW IT

Mack-attack: Anthony Mackie

Bird: Good to know

Thor: Chris Hemsworth

Scarjo: Scarlett Johansson

Tom H 1: Tom Hiddleston

Tom H 2: Tom Holland

Benadryl Cucumbermatch: Benedict Cumberbatch

Renner!!!: Jeremy Renner

The Cooler Spider: Today we shall decide who shall be The Cooler Supersoldier

The Cooler Spider: Say Bucky if you choose Bucky and Steve if Steve

You know who I am: Steve

Chwistopher: Steve

Seabass: Bucky

Mack-attack: Bucky

Thor: Steve

Scarjo: Bucky

Tom H 1: Steve

Tom H 2: Bucky

Benadryl Cucumbermatch: Steve

Renner!!!: Steve

The Cooler Spider: Steve has received 6 votes while Bucky received only 4

The Cooler Spider: Which means Steve Rogers is officially The Cooler Supersoldier

Owner of America's Ass: Ugh, no way

America's Ass: Thanks, but no thanks

America's Ass: Just give it to Bucky

_The Cooler Spider has changed America's Ass's name to The Cooler Supersoldier_

The Cooler Wakandan: Welcome to the council

The Cooler Supersoldier: Thanks, I guess 

The Cooler Spider: Meeting adjourned

The Cooler Spider: The Cooler Spider

The Cooler Magician: The Cooler Magician

The Cooler Bird: The Cooler Bird

The Cooler Wakandan: The Cooler Wakandan

The Cooler Supersoldier: The Cooler Supersoldier

_The Cooler Spider has changed his name to yeeter yarker_

_The Cooler Magician has changed his name to Snek Lord_

_The Cooler Wakandan has changed her name to SHUR-YEET_

_The Cooler Supersoldier has changed his name to America's Ass_

yeeter yarker: alright

yeeter yarker: 4 to go

America's Ass: I didn't even want to join

America's Ass: I just went with the flow

SHUR-YEET: You do not deny the council

Snek Lord: Nor do you say anything negative about it

yeeter yarker: or there will be consequences

The Cooler Bird: its OK Steve you'll get used to this

America's Ass: I hope so

Sherlock: OK time to go home

_Chwistopher left the chat_

_Seabass left the chat_

_Mack-attack left the chat_

_You know who I am left the chat_

_Scarjo left the chat_

_Thor left the chat_

_Tom H 1 left the chat_

_Tom H 2 left the chat_

_Benadryl Cucumbermatch left the chat_

_Renner!!! left the chat_

_Irondad has changed his name to You know who I am_

You know who I am: I love u kid but I just did this to fuck off RDJ

yeeter yarker: lol It ok

yeeter yarker: it'll be ur name on my contacts

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: heh

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: you know this chapter had very little to do with the title 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ran out of ideas so I pulled the guys from my first ever fanfic to join us in this little chapter.


	9. Late Night Chats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys are up late. Me and Deadpool. They can't sleep. Neither can I. Pepper accidentally has Jeff The Killer vibes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The third chapter of the day. Let's hope I do write a chapter. I promise to write one within the week.

yeeter yarker: Shuri u there 

SHUR-YEET: hell yeah imma night owl

Owner of America's Ass: So am I

yeeter yarker: hey Mr. Bucky

SHUR-YEET: Wassup Captain America's bf

yeeter yarker: no hard feelings on not joining the council

Owner of America's Ass: I'm over it

Owner of America's Ass: why are u up

yeeter yarker: I just got hooked on stardew valley

SHUR-YEET: Nothing just up

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: I was sleeping but then author woke me up for this cameo

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: lol fun fact it's 12 in the morning when I'm writing this)

yeeter yarker: that ain't really healthy Ms. Author

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: You're up too)

yeeter yarker: good point

Owner of America's Ass: ya'll are weird

Owner of America's Ass: Who is this author

Owner of America's Ass: Your oc?

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Nah

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: We just live in a fanfic where Endgame happened but remove all the depression make Stucky canon make all of u a chaotic family Loki is alive etc

Owner of America's Ass: Fanfics? You mean the one Peter writes?

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Yup

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: And readers author may have already said it in the notes two chapters back but

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Sorry for not uploading chapters since last month so here is 3 chapters in one day and a challenge for me to write one everyday for this week including one shots

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Yours truly is part of the apology

Owner of America's Ass: What

yeeter yarker: I legit am confused

yeeter yarker: we've had this group chat for a whole week

yeeter yarker: a month still hasn't passed

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: That's cuz u live in a fic

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: anyways my cameo has expired

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: see ya a chapter or two later

Owner of America's Ass: So what's up

SHUR-YEET: not much

yeeter yarker: not much either but I'm gonna wake Mr. Loki for him to join us

The Cooler Bird: u kids up 2

Owner of America's Ass: Yeah

SHUR-YEET: Imma night owl

The Cooler Bird: oh the old man is up too

The Cooler Bird: I would've thought he was the one putting u to bed

Owner of America's Ass: You're lucky you're on your honeymoon

Snek Lord: Who the hell is knocking at my door

Snek Lord: You better run or I'll stab you

yeeter yarker: eep! It was me pls dont stab me

Snek Lord: lol it was a prank

Snek Lord: Anyway why are you all up

Snek Lord: Its 12 in the morning

yeeter yarker: chatting

SHUR-YEET: My brother told me to sleep early for once but I didn't want to

Owner of America's Ass: I can't sleep

The Cooler Bird: Pietro kicked me in his sleep and woke me up

The Cooler Bird: twice

The Cooler Bird: The second on my holy spot and now I can't go back to sleep

Owner of America's Ass: oof

yeeter yarker: ouch I felt that

SHUR-YEET: I'm a girl but I felt that too

Snek Lord: F

yeeter yarker: ya'll wanna come to my room

Owner of America's Ass: Hell yeah

SHUR-YEET: That moment when u in Wakanda

Snek Lord: I'm already there

yeeter yarker: aww

yeeter yarker: too bad the two of you can't come

You know who I am: Why tf u still up

You know who I am: It's almost one

Owner of America's Ass: Fuck off

yeeter yarker: Mr. Stark pls let us stay up

You know who I am: No

Owner of America's Ass: Don't worry kid

Owner of America's Ass: I got this trick I used back then when my mom told me to go to sleep when it was midnight

yeeter yarker: then use it

You know who I am: I'm right here

You know who I am: Go the fuck to sleep

Owner of America's Ass: It's 1 in the morning

Owner of America's Ass: Why are you awake

You know who I am: Really

You know who I am: This is your trick

You know who I am: Don't tell me it worked on your mom

Owner of America's Ass: Well actually it never worked and I instantly regretted it

Owner of America's Ass: That was also the only time I did it and I never did it again

Snek Lord: Idiots

Snek Lord: This is how you do it

You know who I am: Do what

America's Ass: Bucky where did you go?

Owner of America's Ass: Nowhere

yeeter yarker: he's with me

Owner of America's Ass: Dammit kid

America's Ass: Bucky, just go to sleep

Owner of America's Ass: No

America's Ass: Buck

Owner of America's Ass: I SAID NO

Snek Lord: This is how to put Stark to sleep

Pepps: So I heard that all of you were awake

You know who I am: Oh shit it's Pepper

Pepps: Tony come back to bed or else

You know who I am: Yes sweetie

yeeter yarker: haha now we can have that sleepover thing

Pepps: All of you back to your own rooms

Pepps: Go to sleep

Pepps: If I hear a notification

Pepps: Well, you'll see

yeeter yarker: OK mom

Owner of America's Ass: Yes ma'am

Snek Lord: I don't count right

Snek Lord: I was the one who informed you

Pepps: Loki if you don't go back to sleep

Snek Lord: Alright

The Cooler Bird: haha you can't do anything

The Cooler Bird: I'm in Vegas

Pepps: You may be on your honeymoon but I will fly all the way there

The Cooler Bird: really

Pepps: Or I could have Natasha do it

Mama Spider: I am about to buy a ticket to Vegas

Mama Spider: Just say the word

The Cooler Bird: goodnight guys

Pepps: Good

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Ha I'm still up

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: So am I)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: But Pep has a chance of finding you while she can't get to me in the real world)

Pepps: I don't know either of you but I will put you to sleep

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Fine

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: I'm getting unintentional Jeff the Killer vibes from her

Pepps: Goodnight everyone and don't wake up again

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: And don't forget to wash your hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen to Wade. Wash your hands and stay safe.


	10. FLOOR GANG!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Nice. FLOOR GANG!!! SMALL PP!!! SMALL BRAIN!!! Steve and Bucky break their no.1 rule. Elon Musk. The Cooler King. Fury is actually pronounced Furry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay I updated

yeeter yarker: yoooooo

SHUR-YEET: yooooooo

The Cooler Bird: yoooooooooooo

The Flash⚡:yooooooooooooooooo

Scarlet Witch: yooooooooooooooooooooo

Bird: yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Owner of America's Ass: yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

You know who I am: What the yo

yeeter yarker: this is my greatest achievement

You know who I am: Your greatest achievement is causing other people to say yo but longer

yeeter yarker: it is now

The Cooler Bird: my greatest achievement is getting married and the free pizza that came with it

The Flash⚡: That's mine too

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: My greatest achievement is making ads that people will willingly watch

You know who I am: ?

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Aviation Gin

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: that's lame. My greatest achievement was when I was born. I weighed 6.9 lbs.)

yeeter yarker: nice

SHUR-YEET: nice

The Cooler Bird: nice

The Flash⚡: nice

Scarlet Witch: nice

Mama Spider: nice

Bird: nice

Owner of America's Ass: nice

Star Lord: nice

Snek Lord: nice

Green Girl: nice

Green Girl 2: nice

Mantis: nice

Invisible: nice

Thunderstorm: nice

Not a raccoon: nice

Tree: I am Groot

Catman: nice

Ant Boi: nice

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: nice

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: nice)

You know who I am: Bye TTYL

yeeter yarker: wait

yeeter yarker: the reason I said yo cuz I wanted to talk about what I realised

SHUR-YEET: what did u realise

yeeter yarker: most of the shows I watch have something to do with angels and demons

yeeter yarker: Lucifer, Good Omens, Supernatural, The Good Place (does that count), etc.

You know who I am: Why are you even watching these shows

yeeter yarker: cuz they cul

You know who I am: cul?

yeeter yarker: cool

America's Ass: Sorry to interrupt, but I have a question

You know who I am: I'm sure I can answer anything

America's Ass: Actually, I'll need Peter's assistance

America's Ass: It's a question about pop culture

You know who I am: What

yeeter yarker: sure Mr. Rogers!

yeeter yarker: what's the question

America's Ass: What's the Ceiling Gang?

yeeter yarker: how do u know that

America's Ass: I was watching some philosophy videos on YouTube by some guy named Pewdiepie

America's Ass: I saw another one of his videos and couldn't believe that that was the same guy who makes these philosophy videos

Owner of America's Ass: Why are you even watching philosophy

Owner of America's Ass: And I'm pretty sure it's obvious on what Ceiling gang is

America's Ass: It's pop culture. There must be a different meaning

America's Ass: So once again. What's Ceiling Gang?

yeeter yarker: only the most smallest of pps and smallest of brains

yeeter yarker: unlike Floor Gang who has BIG PP and BIG BRAIN

yeeter yarker: sure heaven is in the sky and hell is below

yeeter yarker: but here the ground is heaven and the sky is hell

America's Ass: I still don't understand and now I'm more confused

Owner of America's Ass: I had an idea of what it was but then after that I'm not so sure

SHUR-YEET: but yeeter

SHUR-YEET: you crawl on ceilings

yeeter yarker: no way

yeeter yarker: I can't believe I was ceiling gang all along

SHUR-YEET: this is a sad day

SHUR-YEET: maybe there's still a chance to be ceiling gang

yeeter yarker: yeah I can just stay on the floor and swear to never crawl on ceilings unless necessary

SHUR-YEET: WELCOME BACK TO FLOOR GANG

yeeter yarker: FLOOR GANG!!!

SHUR-YEET: FLOOR GANG!!!

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: FLOOR GANG!!!

America's Ass: Now I'm even more confused

Owner of America's Ass: Me too

You know who I am: This reminds me of that one time Elon Musk told me that floors were cool

You know who I am: I found that weird

yeeter yarker: ELON MUSK APPROVED

SHUR-YEET: ELON MUSK APPROVED

You know who I am: You guys are weird

America's Ass: Elon Musk? That's the Tesla guy right?

You know who I am: Yup

You know who I am: He's awesome you guys should meet him

yeeter yarker: hey Mr. Stark

You know who I am: What is it Peter

yeeter yarker: have u seen Elon recently

You know who I am: Yeah but we didn't really catch up on stuff

yeeter yarker: Shuri u remember when he hosted meme review

SHUR-YEET: That was greatest moment on meme review

yeeter yarker: next to Dr. Phil

You know who I am: Is that why u asked me

yeeter yarker: yeah

yeeter yarker: heh dolphin

You know who I am: What dolphin

yeeter yarker: you wouldn't get it

Owner of America's Ass: Well, in my opinion I think that ceilings are better than floors

Owner of America's Ass: They're good especially for sneak attacks

yeeter yarker: SMALL PP

yeeter yarker: SMALL BRAIN

SHUR-YEET: SMALL PP

SHUR-YEET: SMALL BRAIN

The Cooler Bird: this looks fun

The Cooler Bird: SMALL PP

The Cooler Bird: SMALL BRAIN

The Flash⚡: imma do it 2

The Flash⚡: SMALL PP

The Flash⚡: SMALL BRAIN

America's Ass: I'll have you know that his "PP" is very big

America's Ass: My ass still hurts

Owner of America's Ass: What happened to "We can't talk about our sex life in the group chat"

You know who I am: Yeah what

You know who I am: I fear that next time you guys are gonna send dick pics here

America's Ass: Tony that'll never happen

Sherlock: Actually...

You know who I am: Oh god its the wizard who saw over 14 million futures

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: And never told us about covid

You know who I am: Pls dont say what I think you're about to say

Sherlock: There are a few timelines where they sent one accidentally and a few where it was intentional

You know who I am: This isn't one of those right

Sherlock: If it wasn't I wouldn't bother saying what I just said

You know who I am: Steve how much do you want to not send anything bad here

America's Ass: I don't need money because it won't happen

Owner of America's Ass: Didn't the wizard say that there were time when it was unintentional

America's Ass: It won't happen

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Yeah it won't

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Author won't go to Google and look up dicks

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Plus the fanfic is supposed to be T rated

The Cooler Bird: am I floor gang or ceiling gang

The Cooler Bird: I live in the vents

The Cooler Bird: They're technically in the ceiling

You know who I am: What do you mean you live in the vents?! 

You know who I am: Is that what I've been hearing

You know who I am: I thought we had mice

The Cooler Bird: Did you just call me a rat

You know who I am: No I called you a mouse

The Flash⚡: HOW DARE U CALL MY HUSBAND A RAT

The Flash⚡: HE IS THE COOLEST BIRD EVER

Scarlet Witch: HOW DARE U CALL MY BROTHER-IN-LAW A RAT

You know who I am: Not you too

Catman: This is all nice but when is our fight for The Cooler King

Thunderstorm: We are growing impatient

yeeter yarker: oh shit I forgot hjjhhshsh

yeeter yarker: hey Thor heads or tails

Thunderstorm: I'm familiar with this

Thunderstorm: I like choosing head and getting head

You know who I am: I don't like reading the last part

Snek Lord: Brother just say heads

Snek Lord: That is better than just head

yeeter yarker: Hahaha LOL LOL

SHUR-YEET: haha Thor just said I like getting head

Thunderstorm: I do not understand what is funny

Snek Lord: Oh Thor

Catman: Enough being childish

Catman: I guess I'm tails

yeeter yarker: then it's settled

yeeter yarker: Hey, Friday!

_F.R.I.D.A.Y is on_

F.R.I.D.A.Y: Yes, Peter?

yeeter yarker: heads or tails

_F.R.I.D.A.Y is flipping a coin_

F.R.I.D.A.Y: It landed on tails

yeeter yarker: thx Fri

F.R.I.D.A.Y: Happy to be of service :)

yeeter yarker: Bye, Friday

_F.R.I.D.A.Y is off_

yeeter yarker: There you have it

yeeter yarker: The Catman King T'Challa is now The Cooler King

Thunderstorm: It was a short but great battle

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: dammit we were rooting for Thor f u Google assistant

SHUR-YEET: WELCOME TO THE COUNCIL BRO

Catman: I prepared for a great fight and this is what decides it

yeeter yarker: you are now also a member of floor gang

Avenger: Sorry to interrupt

Avenger: But Fury has something to say

Avenger has added Fury to the chat

Ryan Reynolds lookalike changed Fury's name to Furry

Furry: It already seems that Carol was right about your behaviour

The Cooler Bird: Hey Furyyyyy

Furry: Where the hell did you go Barton

The Cooler Bird: Nowhere

Furry: Romanoff

Mama Spider: He's on his honeymoon and will be back in two days

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: aka the next chapter

Furry: Since when were you married and to whom

The Cooler Bird: you weren't at the wedding

The Flash⚡: That would be me

Furry: We will talk about everything that has happened when the two get back

Furry: You all better have good explanations

You know who I am: Hey Fury one question

Furry: What is it

You know who I am: What were the other name you thought of before Avenger

You know who I am: There must have been other ideas

Furry: I was going to go for Protector

Furry: But after Carol I thought of Avenger

Avenger: Told you

You know who I am: No fucking way

Snek Lord: That would've been hilarious when we had met

yeeter yarker: lol

yeeter yarker: how would they work with a p as the symbol

Avenger: You just didn't believe me

You know who I am: Shut up

America's Ass: I am the leader of this group and you're the one whose most concerned with the name

Avenger: I might as well be the leader seeing as you were named after me

You know who I am: Fuck you

Furry: Stark

Pepps: Tony

You know who I am: I take it back

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: lol imagine if Cap had to say Protectors Assemble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did weigh 6.9 lbs when I was born. Anyone else who was?


	11. Anime Land

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaosude~yuobinjianime. My Hero Academia. The return of memeguistics. Trivia night. I scare Peter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't know any Japanese. I just put the sentences into Google translate. Idk if it's accurate. (except for omae wae mou shindeiru)
> 
> Btw I was binging anime cuz Netflix put up the first and third season of mha. They also got demon slayer. That's my excuse. K thx bye enjoy.

SHUR-YEET: Omae wae mou shindeiru

yeeter yarker: NANI?!

yeeter yarker: Min'na nihongo on mananda mitai

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Author doesn't even know if that really Japanese

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: I don't trust Google translate)

The Cooler Bird: hey arent u the one who weighed 6.9lbs at birth

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: Yes my gay bird)

The Cooler Bird: nice

yeeter yarker: Ī ne

SHUR-YEET: Ī ne

You know who I am: Are u just going to speak Japanese for the rest of the day

yeeter yarker: Tabun

Catman: How the hell did you learn Japanese

Catman: All I've seen you do was watch some weird cartoons

SHUR-YEET: Yā kyōdai

SHUR-YEET: Sore wa animedeshita

You know who I am: I will give both of you $500000 if you speak English

yeeter yarker: deal

SHUR-YEET: deal

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: haha author got tired of the two of u and Japanese

Catman: Shuri I've only seen you watch cartoons

Catman: How did you learn Japanese

SHUR-YEET: simple

SHUR-YEET: anime

yeeter yarker: me and Shuri have been binging different animes

yeeter yarker: right now we're on My Hero Academia

Catman: There's no way you can become fluent in Japanese just by watching cartoons

SHUR-YEET: It'S AnImE nOt CaRtOoNs

You know who I am: What the hell is My Hero Academia

yeeter yarker: basically 80% of the world has superpowers but we focus on this kid who didn't have one but after meeting his idol he gets one

SHUR-YEET: except they call it quirks

You know who I am: Sounds crazy

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: I guess you can say that the show is pretty quirky, eh?

You know who I am: I don't get it

You know who I am: What's the story

yeeter yarker: broccoli breaks his bones fighting hand man with his friends

You know who I am: tf

The Cooler Bird: all this talk about anime is making me want to travel to anime land

The Flash⚡: I wanna go there too

You know who I am: I will send both of u there if u stop annoying me and pay me back for your honeymoon

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: You can't travel

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: that's illegal in these times

America's Ass: What's anime?

yeeter yarker: Mr. Rogers sir

yeeter yarker: you've been in the 21st century for 12 years

yeeter yarker: how do u not know

America's Ass: The first things that popped up on Google were weird

America's Ass: I'd rather ask you

yeeter yarker: just Google it

yeeter yarker: I'm ordering bandages

You know who I am: Why do you need bandages

yeeter yarker: cosplay

SHUR-YEET: u doin the tired mummy man

yeeter yarker: yes

SHUR-YEET: nice

yeeter yarker: I am not gay but 20 dollars is 20 dollars

SHUR-YEET: Road work ahead

yeeter yarker: yeah I sure hope it does

yeeter yarker: What do u wanna eat

SHUR-YEET: The souls of the innocent

SHUR-YEET: a bagel

yeeter yarker: no

SHUR-YEET: two bagels

SHUR-YEET: there's only one thing worse than a r**ist

SHUR-YEET: boom

yeeter yarker: a child

yeeter yarker: Begone

SHUR-YEET: THOT!!!!!!!!!!! 

Owner of America's Ass: Dammit now Steve is traumatised

Owner of America's Ass: he went too far on the anime pics

yeeter yarker: did he by any chance see hentai or yaoi

Owner of America's Ass: I don't even know what either of those are

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: did u kno that we starred in an anime once

yeeter yarker: Wade u kinda look like one of the characters in mha

yeeter yarker: but instead of red its black

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: ik

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: she told me

Owner of America's Ass: Who is she

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: we all kno who she is

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: esta yo comrade)

The Cooler Bird: guys I just had the greatest idea ever

The Flash⚡: I suggested it not u

You know who I am: What is this "greatest idea" then

The Cooler Bird: trivia night

The Flash⚡: that was my idea

The Cooler Bird: u said what if had a fun facts we didn't know nifht

The Cooler Bird: I changed it to trivia

The Flash⚡: _**DiVoRcE**_

The Cooler Bird: no pls srry it was ur idea

Owner of America's Ass: Why the hell did u call it fun facts we didn't know night

The Flash⚡: I forgot the word trivia for a sec ok

You know who I am: we should all do this 2night

Star Lord: some of us aren't even here

Thunderstorm: I'm in New Asgard :(

Snek Lord: awesome

The Cooler Bird: haha me and Pietro are on our flight back

yeeter yarker: in the chat then

You know who I am: Hell yeah

Pepps: It's not a bad idea

You know who I am: Yay

yeeter yarker: thx ironmom

Pepps: ❤️

Furry: Since Barton and Maximoff are returning we will have that meeting about your behaviours

Furry: And I will not be a part of this trivia night

_Furry left the group_

The Cooler Bird: well shit

You know who I am: This is all your fault Barton

The Flash⚡: Stop bullying him

The Cooler Bird: thx babe

The Flash⚡: this is all ur fault bird

The Cooler Bird: 😧

The Cooler Bird: I thot u loved me

The Flash⚡: ily

The Cooler Bird: ily 2

You know who I am: OK let's decide on a theme

yeeter yarker: ME

SHUR-YEET: MES

You know who I am: No

You know who I am: It needs to be something we all know

Owner of America's Ass: Then what's the point of it being trivia

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: I suggest everything)

You know who I am: We'll consider it

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: it will be either way. I'm a God here)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: I'm literally writing about u guys doing this. I can erase you and the tag to make it that u were never in this fic. People who have already read this will notice and put it in the comments, but I can erase ur existence here.)

yeeter yarker: Aunt May come pick me up I'm scared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why are side characters always our favorites.


	12. Trivia Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Trivia Night. Except the trivias aren't really trivias. 42069 and 69420.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoooo boi. How long has it been. But hey. I'm back. Sorry for the extremely late chapter. I ran out of ideas.

yeeter yarker: tonight's the night everyone

yeeter yarker: IT'S TRIVIA NIGHT

SHUR-YEET: ME AND PETER ARE THE HOSTS

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: AND ME

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: AND ME)

yeeter yarker: Mr. Stark is everyone here

You know who I am: Yes

Star Lord: No

Star Lord: We aren't there

You know who I am: YES

SHUR-YEET: we are doing this in the chat u guys ARE here

America's Ass: Wait, I have a question.

yeeter yarker: what is it old man who uses punctuations

America's Ass: Are we doing this in teams?

yeeter yarker: sure why not

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: by the power of writing and laziness)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: the teams will be the teams of the Avengers the Guardians and the Revengers)

Thunderstorm: but what if I am all three

yeeter yarker: I have a solution

yeeter yarker: Thor will be in all three teams and he will choose who to give the points to

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Really author

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: fuck off)

America's Ass: Language

The Cooler Bird: hul ip

The Cooler Bird: thsts bot fait

Mama Spider: What the fuck happened to your spelling

The Cooler Bird: I tyepex to fatsv

The Flash⚡: he said he typed too fast

SHUR-YEET: aweormt ikme di4 itb roo

Star Lord: Hey Thor

Star Lord: Why don't u give our team the point twice then give it to anyone else

Star Lord: or you can give it all to us

yeeter yarker: not on my watch

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: this things gonna be fucking fair

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: for that instead of Thor picking I'll have Antonia pick)

Not a Raccoon: Dammit Quill look what you did

Tree: I am Groot

The Cooler Bird: who the hell is antonia

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: My Google Assistant)

yeeter yarker: now that we've got that out of the way

SHUR-YEET: LET'S FUCKING START

America's Ass: Language

yeeter yarker: I'll go first

yeeter yarker: how many words not including the next messages are in this group chat

The Cooler Bird: a bunch of words

You know who I am: How tf are we supposed to know

yeeter yarker: that's the point

The Flash⚡: hsgshjdndmj idk

The Flash⚡: 69

yeeter yarker: nope but your team gets a point for being nice

Scarlet Witch: 42069

SHUR-YEET: you get a point for niceness

You know who I am: THAT'S NOT FAIR

yeeter yarker: shut up dad

You know who I am: I don't know if I should be happy because Peter called me dad

You know who I am: or mad because he told me to shut up

America's Ass: Aren't they on our team though?

The Cooler Bird: haha

The Cooler Bird: Stark forgot that the twins were on our side

You know who I am: stfu

The Cooler Bird: OK GENIUS Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist

You know who I am: I said shut the fuck up

America's Ass: Language

The Cooler Bird: boomer

Bruce: After some calculations

Bruce: I have determined that the answer is 15446

yeeter yarker: You're right :D

You know who I am: OMG Brucey you got us a point

The Flash⚡: hey I got us a point first

Scarlet Witch: I got us a point too >:(

You know who I am: You guys didn't even try

The Flash⚡: we still got the points >:(

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Whatever let's go to my question

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: decode this shit

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: ehdo jir snd whsi yiro

You know who I am: That doesn't make sense

The Cooler Bird: fools

The Cooler Bird: I was the one who typed fast first

The Cooler Bird: I know the answer

Bird: Then answer the fucking question

The Cooler Bird: Who's Joe and who's Yuri

The Cooler Bird: wait a minute

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Fool

The Cooler Bird: wait no

The Cooler Bird: pls no

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: I'm letting Peter and Shuri do the honours

SHUR-YEET: Hell yeah

yeeter yarker: thx Wade :D

The Cooler Bird: pls im begging u

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: if u let us we give u 3 points

You know who I am: Let them do whatever the fuck they were gonna do birdbrain

The Cooler Bird: no

America's Ass: What's so bad about Joe and Yuri? 

yeeter yarker: you'll see in a sec

The Cooler Bird: NOOOOOOOOO

The Flash⚡: CLINT NO

The Cooler Bird: NOOOOOOO

yeeter yarker: Joe Mama

SHUR-YEET: Yuritarded

America's Ass: That's it?

You know who I am: Why the fuck were u so scared Clint

The Cooler Bird: whatever boomers

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: my turn)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: What's my favorite Marvel movie)

You know who I am: Marvel movie?

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: just... like one of your adventures)

Star Lord: Ah you mean the stuff that we The Guardians of the Galaxy did

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: I actually never watched your movies)

Green girl: Dammit you guys broke Quill

Tree: I am Groot

Tree: I am Groot

Mantis: The guy's really sad

Not A Raccoon: fucking funny

You know who I am: How about the time we became the Avengers and fought Reindeer Games and the Chitauri

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: still no)

Owner of America's Ass: It must've been a movie I was in

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: pretty sure it's just one of

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: I need my all time favorite)

America's Ass: Why don't you give us a small hint

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: fine)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: Strange was in it)

Sherlock: I actually am aware that there are movies based on us so...

Sherlock: I'm going to go with my movie

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: hahaha wrong

Thunderstorm: The time we fought Hela

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: yay Thor got it right)

You know who I am: OMG thank you Thor

Star Lord: Thor got us a point!

Valkryie: pretty sure he got us the point

Thunderstorm: I think I'll give the point to the Revengers in the chat

You know who I am: we were teammates first Thor how could you

Valkryie: See, we got the point

Snek Lord: Good choice

Snek Lord: if you had chosen anyone else I would've stabbed you

Thunderstorm: Thank you for not stabbing me

Star Lord: Why not us Thor

Star Lord: We have no points

Valkryie: neither did we

Star Lord: You have one now

Green girl 2: Just drop it Quill

SHUR-YEET: my turn

SHUR-YEET: What is 54 plus 15

SHUR-YEET: plus 1 minus 1 plus 1

SHUR-YEET: plus 30 plus 100

SHUR-YEET: plus 200 plus 20

SHUR-YEET: then finally put 69 at either end

Bird: Why the hell is there a math problem

SHUR-YEET: for reasons the numbers represent watermelons

Owner of America's Ass: Why do they need to be watermelons

yeeter yarker: because of the math problems in tests

Star Lord: Well anyways 54 plus 15 is 69

SHUR-YEET: nice

yeeter yarker: nice

yeeter yarker: points for niceness

SHUR-YEET: anyone who answers this will win the whole thing

You know who I am: That's not fair!

You know who I am: What about our points

yeeter yarker: doesn't matter

Tree: I am Groot

Not A Raccoon: He said the answer is 69420

SHUR-YEET: CORRECT!!!

yeeter yarker: THE GUARDIANS WIN!!!

You know who I am: NOOOOO!!!!

Star Lord: YES!!!

yeeter yarker: this seems like a nice time to end the night

Pepps: Yes, now everyone get to bed

Snek Lord: Be careful the next time you are here

Snek Lord: Because I will stab you

Star Lord: Shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Steebs birthday. Better late than never. (Like me when I got my birthday gift 2 months late).


	13. Happy Birthday Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steeb's bday. Morgan returns. Morgan 0w0. The Morgan incident happens again but nobody dies. Fourth of July. Except not really cuz author ain't American.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hell yeah. Celebrating Stove's bday a week late. (at least he doesn't have to wait two months for a gift). Also I ran out of ideas that why this is a little shorter than the other chapters. K thx bye.

Bird: HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU NASTY OLD MAN

America's Ass: Thanks?

Owner of America's Ass: SYMBOL OF AMERICA TURNS A YEAR OLDER

yeeter yarker: happy birthday Mr. America! 🎉🎉🎉

You know who I am: Happy Birthday you son of a bitch

You know who I am: I got you a lambo

America's Ass: How about instead of a lambo you watch your language

You know who I am: We all know thats never going to happen

The Cooler Bird: merry day of born american symbol who is over 100 years old yet is still alive

Scarlet Witch: HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY YOU OLD MAN

Mama Spider: Happy birthday Steve

Mama Spider: I got you something

Mama Spider: You and Barnes are going to love it

You know who I am: I don't wanna know what the gift is

Thunderstorm: Happy Birthday Captain!

Thunderstorm: I'm sending you my regards

Thunderstorm: AND the best Mead!

Snek Lord: I do not care for any of this

Snek Lord: If any of you need me ill be in my room

Snek Lord: Although if you do need me don't come to me

The Cooler Bird: just so you guys know I got this weird large egg

Mama Spider: You lay that Clint?

The Cooler Bird: of course not

The Flash⚡: So it's not our kid

The Cooler Bird: what the hell

yeeter yarker: Mr. Stark can I get a tesla on my birthday

You know who I am: Of course!

Pepps: Tony please don't tell me that the Tesla we already have is Peter's

You know who I am: You said don't

Bird: We all went from greeting Steve to doing our own thing

Bird: Amazing

Pepps: By the way Steve, Morgan wants to say something to you

America's Ass: Alright, what is it?

Pepps: Before I give her my phone I want everyone to stop swearing

The Cooler Bird: heck yeah what happened last time won't happen again

Pepps: Alright

Pepps: HI GUYS!!!

Pepps: Its Morgan 0w0

You know who I am: Who taught my daughter that

Pepps: Peter did

yeeter yarker: yeah

America's Ass: So Morgan what did you want to tell me

Pepps: Hi Uncle Steve!

Pepps: I just wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Pepps: And I hope that today is the best day for you ever!!!

America's Ass: Thanks!

Owner of America's Ass: Damn Steve's so fucking happy he's nearing tears

Pepps: Hey! There's that word again

Pepps: Mommy never told me what it meant

Owner of America's Ass: Oh shoot

America's Ass: Buck!

Bird: Its happening again

The Cooler Bird: BUT THIS TIME IT ISN'T ME

Owner of America's Ass: Hey kid, don't tell your mom I said that

Owner of America's Ass: Nor ask her what it means

Pepps: OK!

You know who I am: I'm telling Pepper

yeeter yarker: hell no Mr. Stark

yeeter yarker: snitches get stitches

yeeter yarker: it's alright now Mr. Bucky!

yeeter yarker: I tied him with my webs

Owner of America's Ass: Awesome

America's Ass: You tied Tony up?

yeeter yarker: yup

America's Ass: This day isn't going as bad as I thought

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: happy belated birthday

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: yall celebrating his birthday a week late

The Cooler Bird: Let's not forget the other celebration today

The Flash⚡: HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY

Scarlet Witch: FUCK YEAH!!!

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: have fun yall)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: and to the readers: just imagine what happens)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: idk what Americans do. I'm not American)

Snek Lord: Finally the fun part

Snek Lord: I'm setting fireworks in the lab

You know who I am: wtf no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki totally sets off fireworks in Tony's lab.


	14. I Just Had The Weirdest Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott has a dream. Spoiler alert... Its about Supernatural. Destiel. Sabriel. Innefable Husbands. Just a little bit cuz they're just mentions. Dean Wine Chestnut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wahoo! Thank Chuck I was able to write this.  
> Also sorry its short.

Ant Boi: guys I just had the weirdest dream

yeeter yarker: clowns or midgets?

SHUR-YEET: spill the tea

Ant boi: so I was in high school and looked extremely different and had big black wings

Ant boi: instead of Antman I was Ravenman

The Cooler Bird: if u were ravenman

Bird: We would've let you into our bird club

Ant boi: darn

Any boi: Hank should've made a raven suit

yeeter yarker: darn

yeeter yarker: me and Nat should've made an arachnid club

Mama Spider: It's not too late

You know who I am: Just continue talking about your dream

Ant boi: ok

The Flash⚡: Wait

The Flash⚡: what do you mean looked very different

Ant boi: I had a different face

Scarlet Witch: did it look familiar

Ant boi: yea but it isn't one of us

SHUR-YEET: who did it look like

Ant boi: eh

Ant boi: idk djxmsjcbwkfbxmzkdhd

Ant boi: Misha Collins

The Cooler Bird: pffft

yeeter yarker: what the hell

yeeter yarker: I love that guy

Owner of America's Ass: Misha? That sounds familiar to me.

yeeter yarker: wait a minute

yeeter yarker: black wings and misha collins...

Ant boi: hmm?

yeeter yarker: nothing continue

Ant boi: anyways

Ant boi: before I left for school I saw my two dads

Ant boi: although they looked very different from each other

You know who I am: What do you think

You know who I am: of course they don't look alike

You know who I am: This isn't a cartoon where the married people look like brother and sister

Ant boi: no I kno that

Ant boi: what I meant was

Ant boi: one of them looked fluffy and really nice and all he wore was white so he looked like an angel

Ant boi: and the other was a redhead who for some reason wore shades indoors and looked like he would beat me up

The Cooler Bird: only douchebags wear shades indoors

yeeter yarker: and blind people

The Cooler Bird: oh yea and blind people

Ant boi: they then do what parents do then send me to school

Ant boi: redhead dad for some reason can hiss

Snek Lord: Like me

Ant boi: OK then when I arrived at school

yeeter yarker: oh fuck wait

America's Ass: Language

The Flash⚡: stfu old man

Scarlet Witch: DOWN WITH THE BOOMERS!!!

America's Ass: I am now concerned

yeeter yarker: Mr. Stark I lost my shoe

You know who I am: what how

yeeter yarker: I lost my shoe

yeeter yarker: that's all that matters

Ant boi: anyways I arrived at school

Ant boi: and I kid you not

Ant boi: I was greeted by a guy who was holding a "The Ultimate Pranksters Kit"

Ant boi: is that even a thing

Snek Lord: heh

Snek Lord: I want one

Ant boi: he called me Cassy or Cassie

Ant boi: idk. Reminds me of my daughter

Snek Lord: Whenever I see a horse I think of my son

Ant boi: he asked how's my boy toy...

Ant boi: I think I almost woke up here

yeeter yarker: boy toy?

You know who I am: ahhh

You know who I am: I used to have a lot of those back in the day

You know who I am: Twas awesome

You know who I am: Probably more awesome than now

Pepps: ...

You know who I am: I mean uh those days were probably more awesome than today

You know who I am: But I love Pepper and Morgan and wouldn't trade them to go back to the Playboy Stark Era

Pepps: 👍

Ant boi: I then learned that he was my brother when he said that

Ant boi: if he and my "boy toy" were in the same picture with the caption "I'm fucking your brother mate" no one would know who the caption's talking about

yeeter yarker: I swear your dream characters are familiar

Ant boi: I'm pretty sure I woke up from shock when he said moose but didn't

yeeter yarker: how can you get shocked by the word moose

Ant boi: probably the sentence that came with it

You know who I am: Which was

Ant boi: OK get ready

Ant boi: "I love my moose, my samsquatch, my baby, my taller but younger than me lover, and how he rails me almost every night"

You know who I am: What the hell

You know who I am: Why the beastiality

The Cooler Bird: hey now Stark

The Cooler Bird: it's called a weird dream for a reason

yeeter yarker: wait a minute

yeeter yarker: what was your dream self's boy toy's name

Ant boi: Dean something

Ant boi: like... Wine chestnut

Ant boi: I think

yeeter yarker: omg you just had a destiel background sabriel dream

Ant boi: a wha?

yeeter yarker: Dean Winchester/Castiel (Supernatural), Background Sam Winchester/Gabriel (Supernatural)

yeeter yarker: oh and I can't forget the for some reasons are the parents

yeeter yarker: Background Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)

You know who I am: Peter what the hell

yeeter yarker: the moose isn't a moose btw

yeeter yarker: but he is a moose

The Cooler Bird: wait so

The Cooler Bird: the moose is not a moose

The Cooler Bird: but is a moose

yeeter yarker: yes

yeeter yarker: also why is Good Omens Crowley here instead of Supernatural Crowley

Ant boi: thing is

Ant boi: I don't understand a single thing you said

Owner of America's Ass: How'd the dream end?

Ant boi: simple

Ant boi: I was walking to math class when I ran into Dean and he greets me with a kiss

Ant boi: I never made it to math

SHUR-YEET: good cuz math sux

yeeter yarker: HELL YEAH MATH SUX

The Cooler Bird: FUCKY YEAH MATH SUX

The Flash⚡: just math?

The Flash⚡: THE WHOLE SCHOOL SUX

Scarlet Witch: FUCK YEAH BRO

America's Ass: Guys no-

Owner of America's Ass: FUCK SCHOOL!

America's Ass: Bucky no

Ant boi: Well that was quite a dream

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: it sure was indeed

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: oh and

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: hey author!

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: no)

Ant boi: ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't ask about the Supernatural mentions. Even idk what I wrote. Also I haven't watched the show cuz Filipino Netflix said no and Filipino TV said no too. If yall know where I can watch it pls tell me.


	15. Late Night Chats 2: Electric Boogaloo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Insomnia Squad. Scott/Castiel makes it to math. Antboi Ant Boi and Antboi. Loki the snake. America's Ass™, the best stress reliever. Why are you booing me? I'm right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are yall doing this fine day. I'm doing fine and so is everyone. Here's the next chapter. Enjoy!

yeeter yarker: WASSUP MY INSOMNIAC FRIENDS

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Heyyyyyy yeeter

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: I am once again writing at 12 in the morning)

SHUR-YEET: YEET

Owner of America's Ass: hey

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Author are you ever going to talk about how Shuri was up at night with us in Wakanda last time

(BookstoFanfics: shush)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: it was 12 in the morning and I forgot about time zones)

yeeter yarker: never realised that

SHUR-YEET: me neither

Owner of America's Ass: let's change the subject

Owner of America's Ass: enough leaning on the 4th wall

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: with me here

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: it probably isn't there anymore

yeeter yarker: so why are we all up this time

SHUR-YEET: it's like afternoon here

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: author wanted me here

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: I have to write this thing)

The Cooler Bird: like last time Pietro kicked me in my holy spot

The Flash⚡: but unlike last time he couldn't hold in his scream

The Flash⚡: so here I am

Snek Lord: Thor told me sweet dreams so instead of having dreams I chose to not sleep

Owner of America's Ass: meh

Owner of America's Ass: nothing really

Mama Spider: lurking here

SHUR-YEET: what about you

yeeter yarker: binging Merlin

yeeter yarker: 4 hours ago I was on the first season

yeeter yarker: now I'm on season 4

SHUR-YEET: awesome

Antboi: hey guys!

yeeter yarker: MR. LANG!!!

Owner of America's Ass: Hey Scott

Antboi: heyyyyyyyy

Antboi: I see we're talking about why we're up

The Cooler Bird: so why are you up

Antboi: I actually just woke up

Antboi: from the continuation of last night's dream

Antboi: I made it to math

The Cooler Bird: fuck

The Flash⚡: math

yeeter yarker: hell yea tell me what happened this time

yeeter yarker: I need my destiel

Antboi: We went out of the classroom somehow without the teacher seeing us

Antboi: as we were walking out we were caught then Dean jumped into my arms and then black wings sprouted out of my back then we flew away

yeeter yarker: Dean and Cas are such chaotic husbands

Ryan Reynolds lookalike:(BookstoFanfics: I'm not sure whether reading anything destiel is weird anymore)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike:(BookstoFanfics: my puppy is named Castiel)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: shut up

yeeter yarker: Awwwwww a puppy

yeeter yarker: idk what it looks like but dhdbksncnsnywikamxlj

SHUR-YEET: puppy! Kdnslxbskdgeudhsiyetalehdj

Antboi: I also met the moose named Sam

Antboi: how is he younger than Dean. Dean's shorter

Antboi: also he and Gabriel also skipped class

yeeter yarker: damn your dream fic is getting strange

yeeter yarker: but as a shipper and crack writer this is normal

Owner of America's Ass: what the hell is destiel

yeeter yarker: a ship like you and Mr. Steve

SHUR-YEET: I'm callin my brother he needs to join in on this

yeeter yarker: hell yea catman

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: hey Scott did you change your name again

Antboi: ?

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: before the last chapter your name was antboi

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: then last chapter it was ant boi

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: now its back to antboi

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: shut up I forgot it)

Snek Lord: What if I were to teleport all the way to New Asgard

Snek Lord: Turn into a snake then try to trick Thor then stab him

Thunderstorm: LOKI NO

Snek Lord: LOKI YES

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: LOKI YES

Snek Lord: I'm doing it

Thunderstorm: Loki don't you dare

Thunderstorm: oh hey

Thunderstorm: there's a snake in my home

Thunderstorm: I shall pick it up and admire it

SHUR-YEET: this will be interesting

Thunderstorm: nvm

Thunderstorm: it was just Loki and now I have two knives in my chest

yeeter yarker: omg Mr. Thor are u OK?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?

Thunderstorm: Everything is alright Man of Spiders

Thunderstorm: this hurts less than when I was 8

yeeter yarker: oh ok

Snek Lord: That felt really good

Owner of America's Ass: If you ever get stressed out, stab someone. 

Owner of America's Ass: Works everytime

The Cooler Bird: did you stab anyone the last time you were stressed

Owner of America's Ass: No Steve won't let me

Owner of America's Ass: Recently when I get stressed I grope America's Ass™

The Cooler Bird: we didn't need to know that

yeeter yarker: but I did

yeeter yarker: thanks for the fic idea Mr. Bucky

Owner of America's Ass: No problem kid

You know who I am: Why tf is everyone up so fuckin late

yeeter yarker: hey dad

Owner of America's Ass: Why tf are u up

You know who I am: Reasons

Owner of America's Ass: I'm getting Pepper

You know who I am: Then I'm getting Steve

Owner of America's Ass: No

You know who I am: No

The Cooler Bird: idk what happenin herrre

The Flash⚡: this what happened last time

You know who I am: You mean last time when you kicked his holy spot

The Cooler Bird: Yes and it happened again

You know who I am: pfft

Owner of America's Ass: Y'know our sleep schedules are so fucked up

The Cooler Bird: if u think about it

The Cooler Bird: were all fucked up

Owner of America's Ass: Shit u rite

America's Ass: Why the heck is everyone up so late

Owner of America's Ass: Dammit I shouldn't have shifted in bed

America's Ass: I didn't even notice you shifting

America's Ass: You didn't put your phone in silent mode

You know who I am: Dammit old man

Pepps: Everyone is up late again?!

yeeter yarker: oh shite it's my ironmom

You know who I am: Hey Pepper you aren't mad right

Pepps: No Tony

Pepps: I'm not mad I'm just

yeeter yarker: oh noes I kno what's she gonna say

Pepps: disappointed

yeeter yarker: ah there it is

SHUR-YEET: I don't have to sleep right it's like afternoon here

Catman: me too

Pepps: Fine

SHUR-YEET: hell yes

America's Ass: This is becoming a big problem

yeeter yarker: not really tho

Pepps: That's it. From now on, no one is allowed to stay up pass 11

You know who I am: NOOOOOO

The Cooler Bird: NOOOOOOOO

yeeter yarker: mom wait

Pepps: What is it Peter

yeeter yarker: this is a major group chat thing

yeeter yarker: The Council has to make the decision

Pepps: Seriously

The Cooler Bird: yes oh yes

Snek Lord: yes

SHUR-YEET: of course

America's Ass: I'm a council member

America's Ass: I might be able to do something

Pepps: Yes please

yeeter yarker: then let us begin

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: hell yea the council returns

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: it's been like 6 chapters

Pepps: No

Pepps: At least have the meeting in the morning

The Cooler Bird: aww cmon why

yeeter yarker: yea why

Pepps: Its almost 2 in the morning

Snek Lord: booooooooooo

Pepps: Why are you booing me I'm right

You know who I am: What the hell

SHUR-YEET: did she just

yeeter yarker: asfdjwpdjdj2ydhskalxjdjdhcmkjozjsudjejxbsodbwivhuej ishcocnvofbcifbcjfkdpdjsjsowjdbwodjsosjsjwoxj2npppkalejfi2nckdk

yeeter yarker: :DDDDDDDDDDD my ironmom memed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHUR-YEET: hell yeah

yeeter yarker: bcuz of that we will have the council meeting tomorrow morning

The Flash⚡: don't you mean later

yeeter yarker: shut up

The Flash⚡: why are you booing me I'm right

America's Ass: We all need to sleep so we can have energy tomorrow for stuff and it's healthy

The Cooler Bird: fuck sleep

The Cooler Bird: I'm changing my name from hawkeye to owleye

The Cooler Bird: because fuck sleep

Owner of America's Ass: SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK STEVEN

Snek Lord: BOOOOOOOOOOOO

America's Ass: Why are you booing me? I'm right.

SHUR-YEET: THE GRANDPA MEMED

yeeter yarker: omg Mr. Captain America sir are you finally catching up with the memes

America's Ass: Kind of

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Author only wrote this part because she saw one meme of this and thought it would be funny

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: boooooooo)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: why are you booing me I'm right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Cooler Council Returns in the next chapter.


	16. The Return of The Council

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Council Returns. The Cooler Twins. Author is in an online meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing during online meeting so it's short. But I hope you still enjoy.

Pepps: Alright, it's morning. Get on with your meeting.

The Cooler Bird: yes finally

The Cooler Bird: couldn't sleep cuz this was on my mind

Pepps: You didn't sleep?

The Flash⚡: YOU DIDN'T SLEEP?!

The Cooler Bird: yup

The Flash⚡: so you were pretending to

The Cooler Bird: yup

The Flash⚡: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME I WANTED TO PRETEND TO SLEEP TOO

You know who I am: Why don't you all shut up and start the council meeting

You know who I am: The sooner it starts the sooner it ends

yeeter yarker: yea guys we even have another thing

yeeter yarker: like The Cooler Twin

Scarlet Witch: My time has come

The Flash⚡: Wanda I love you but I'm going to kick your ass and take that title

The Cooler Bird: yeaaaaa pietro go get her

Snek Lord: Are we going to start or not

SHUR-YEET: YEAAAA LET'S GO PETER

yeeter yarker: then let us begin

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: fuck wait I'm doing this while in online class. I hope I'm not caught)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: srsly author the principal is there too

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: fuck off)

yeeter yarker: ok

yeeter yarker: lets start for real this time

_yeeter yarker had changed his name to The Cooler Spider_

_Snek Lord has changed his name to The Cooler Magician_

_SHUR-YEET has changed her name to The Cooler Wakandan_

_America's Ass changed his name to The Cooler Supersoldier_

_Catman changed his name to The Cooler King_

The Cooler Spider: The Cooler Spider

The Cooler Bird: The Cooler Bird

The Cooler Magician: The Cooler Magician

The Cooler Wakandan: The Cooler Wakandan

The Cooler Supersoldier: The Cooler Supersoldier

The Cooler King: The Cooler King

The Cooler Spider: Let us begin

The Cooler Spider: First is the Cooler Twin

The Flash⚡: hell yeah

Scarlet Witch: I'm gonna kick your ass

The Cooler Bird: I want my husband in this

The Flash⚡: aww thx :D

Scarlet Witch: noooo it should be me

The Cooler Spider: We shall vote then

The Cooler Spider: Say the name of who you want

The Cooler Spider: Get ready

The Cooler Spider: Wanda

Scarlet Witch: aww yee

The Flash⚡: how dare u don't vote me

The Cooler Bird: Pietro

The Cooler Magician: Wanda

The Cooler Wakandan: Wanda mah girl

The Cooler Supersoldier: I'll go Pietro

The Cooler King: I'll also go Pietro

The Cooler Spider: crap a tie

The Cooler Spider: time to flip a coin

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: on it)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: dammit it landed on heads Wanda was tails I wanted Wanda)

The Cooler Spider: Then it is decided

The Cooler Spider: Pietro is The Cooler Twin

The Flash⚡: Yeeaaaaaaa boiiii

You know who I am: fuck I just lost a thousand dollars

The Cooler Bird: haha its mine now

The Flash⚡: lolololol

The Flash⚡ changed his name to The Cooler Twin

The Cooler Twin: yeeeee

The Cooler Spider: Let's move on

The Cooler Spider: should we or should we not stay up late

The Cooler Spider: vote

The Cooler Spider: stay up

The Cooler Bird: stay up

The Cooler Magician: stay up

The Cooler Wakandan: stay up

The Cooler Supersoldier: dont

The Cooler King : dont

The Cooler Twin: stay up

The Cooler Spider: We will stay up

The Cooler Bird: yeaaaaaa

_The Cooler Spider changred his name to yeeter yarker_

_The Cooler Magician changed his name to Snek Lord_

_The Cooler Wakandan changed her name to SHUR-YEET_

_The Cooler Supersoldier changed his name to America's Ass_

_The Cooler King changed his name to Catman_

_The Cooler Twin changed his name to The Flash⚡_

yeeter yarker: aw ye

yeeter yarker: we can stay up

Pepps: Our sleep schedules are a mess

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: damn this chapter short

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: Well I have to end it cuz of the meeting)

yeeter yarker: welp

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: say something strange to end it)

yeeter yarker: uhh

yeeter yarker: shit nugget titty sprinkles

You know who I am: What the hell Peter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone in the meeting is reading this the reason I was smiling and looking down was cuz of this.
> 
> edit: haha i rickrolled them after the meeting ended


	17. Quiches and Quickies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter saves the Netflix. Pietro thinks Angel Wings were chicken wings. Peter Quiche. Client's awesome pronunciation of quiche.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for why it took so long. Well aside from school. Hope ya enjoy anyways.

yeeter yarker: heyo I'm back from my Netflix journey

You know who I am: everyone here who uses Netflix should thank me

You know who I am: I pay for it

SHUR-YEET: welcome back my friend

SHUR-YEET: how was it

yeeter yarker: slightly scarring

yeeter yarker: I watched Food Wars and in the beginning I didn't expect it to be like that

America's Ass: What's Food Wars? Is that like Gordon Ramsay?

yeeter yarker: I mean there were some memes about that but not really

yeeter yarker: anyways how's everyone doing especially after we allowed no sleep

The Cooler Bird: ever since it happened every night I sleep like what the hell I want to stay up

yeeter yarker: ye me too

America's Ass: Good thing everyone's sleeping.

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: I'm doing great made some good mint mobile ads

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: I'm writing the first half of this chapter during CLF class)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: but I'll finish it after)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: Also 2020 sux for many reasons that I won't put here)

You know who I am: I'm doing just great but I might cancel the goddamn Netflix if no one even says thank you

yeeter yarker: wait no-

yeeter yarker: thx for Netflix Mr. Stark

You know who I am: Good enough

The Cooler Bird: KID U JUST SAVED OUR NETFLIX

yeeter yarker: yay :DDDDDDD

yeeter yarker: speaking of Netflix 

yeeter yarker: Lucifer was awesome

The Cooler Bird: it was cool I watched it too

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: I just have to say we are having technical issues with the class and it's echo so it's so goddamn funny and sounds like dubstep)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: author what u just said was useless

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: nobody here can hear it

SHUR-YEET: I can imagine but like I can't at the same time

yeeter yarker: back to the topic I find it interesting that the Devil has white wings and Michael has black ones

The Flash⚡: I don't think black and white chicken wings are edible

yeeter yarker: wha

The Cooler Bird: pietro what the hell

The Flash⚡: wait

The Flash⚡: This isn't about chicken wings?

The Cooler Bird: what made you think that this was about chicken

The Flash⚡: the wings part

Scarlet Witch: I'm disappointed in you

The Flash⚡: I'M ALSO HUNGRY YA KNOW

The Cooler Bird: I'll buy some spicy wings

The Flash⚡: yes pls :)

The Cooler Bird: ok

The Cooler Bird: Stark can I have like 20$

You know who I am: Why me

The Cooler Bird: 20 WOULDN'T EVEN DENT YOUR NET WORTH AT ALL

yeeter yarker: he has a point dad

You know who I am: WHY SHOULD I PAY FOR THE CHICKEN

The Cooler Bird: BECAUSE I'M POOR

yeeter yarker: damn now I'm hungry for chimken

You know who I am: I will buy you some Peter

The Cooler Bird: WHY U PAY FO HEM AN NO ME

You know who I am: He's one of my random kids I found son

yeeter yarker: yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay chiiimmken

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: look at this chapter)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: and the pile of homework I didn't even start yet behind me)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: I'm doing great at life)

yeeter yarker: same

yeeter yarker: haven't even looked at mine yet

You know who I am: Peter no

yeeter yarker: Peter yes

America's Ass: What the heck was the Food Wars

America's Ass: It's...

Owner of America's Ass: We just finished watching and I doubt we'll be going to dinner

America's Ass: I've lost my appetite for everything

yeeter yarker: damn thinking of Japan shit is making me hungry for ramen

You know who I am: Then ramen you shall have

Pepps: Tony stop spoiling all of your children

Pepps: We've already been through this

yeeter yarker: but my ramen

Pepps: ...

Pepps: The ramen is the last thing Tony will buy you

yeeter yarker: yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ramen

Pepps: Our kids will be spoiled...

yeeter yarker: oh btw guys

yeeter yarker: my trip to Europe is soon

The Cooler Bird: bring me back some souvenirs

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Looks like author gonna be adding in the ffh shit here now

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: say hi to mysterio for me

yeeter yarker: idk who that is but ok

You know who I am: Hey I think a guy I used to know lives there or something

You know who I am: I think his name was Quiche or Quill or something

Star Lord: You called

You know who I am: No

Star Lord: My name is literally the first mentioned

Star Lord: Wait nvm it's Quiche

Not a Raccoon: AHAHAHAHA THIS FUCKING IDIOT

Tree: I AM GROOT

Green girl: Peter just why

yeeter yarker: Boi sharing names is confusing

Green girl 2: He's an idiot

Blue Bot: agreed

Mantis: Poor Quill

Invisible: pretty sure his name is Quiche now

Not a Raccoon: wait hold on

_Not a Raccoon changed Star Lord's name to Peter Quiche_

Peter Quiche: very funny

Peter Quiche: Now change it back

Not a Raccoon: No way

Peter Quiche: Fine then I'll change it back

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: I'm gonna stop ya right there buddy

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: by the power of being the author you can no longer change your name from Peter Quiche)

Peter Quiche: What does that even mean?!

_Peter Quiche tried to change their name but through fanfic writer powers he couldn't_

Peter Quiche: What the hell

The Cooler Bird: kill me now

Mama Spider: K where you at

Mama Spider: What preferred killing method would you like me to use

The Flash⚡: DON'T KILL MY HUSBAND

The Flash⚡: ALSO WHY DO YOU WANT TO DIE

The Cooler Bird: I remembered that time when we still lived in the tower

You know who I am: Oh I think I know where this is going

The Cooler Bird: I thought quiche was pronounced quickie

You know who I am: OH I DEFINITELY REMEMBER THIS

You know who I am: PLEASE LET ME TELL IT

America's Ass: Please don't.

America's Ass: It was bad enough back then.

The Cooler Bird: I'm telling it

The Cooler Bird: so I bought some instant quiches

The Cooler Bird: was gonna make them

The Cooler Bird: and then this is the part where my pronunciation is important

You know who I am: BECAUSE THEN HE CAME UP TO US ALL AND SAID

You know who I am: ANYONE UP FOR SOME QUICKIES

America's Ass: This is why we forbade anyone from saying either quiche or quickie

Mama Spider: Clint you are an idiot

yeeter yarker: quiches and quickies

yeeter yarker: two things I never thought I would see in the same topic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Client's quiche quickie pronunciation story is based on what happened to me. And Peter Quiche is based on me accidentally reading Quill as Quiche.


	18. FUCK YOU MR. IMPOSTOR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers play Among Us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reeeeeeee here's the next chapter.

yeeter yarker: who's up for some among us

SHUR-YEET: I'm down for a few rounds

The Cooler Bird: same

yeeter yarker: noice

yeeter yarker: anyone else

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Me

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: sorry Wade but we are technically one person so that means you would know who the impostor is when I choose whoever that is)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: fuck you why did you have to make a such a good point

The Flash⚡: I WANNA JOIN

Snek Lord: I'm great at this phone game thing

Snek Lord: I shall join

Owner of America's Ass: me too

America's Ass: What's among us?

Owner of America's Ass: the game I was just playing

America's Ass: oh

America's Ass: I'd like to try

SHUR-YEET: eyyyyyyyy the old man's joining

yeeter yarker: ilydad

You know who I am: ily too son

yeeter yarker: that was the code but ok

You know who I am: owwwwwwwww

You know who I am: I feel my heart crack

Thunderstorm: I know this game! Valkryie introduced me to it!

yeeter yarker: then come on down by using code ilydad

Scarlet Witch: I'm down to play too

The Flash⚡: Welcome sister

Snek Lord: why did you let my brother join. I hate him.

You know who I am: screw it I'm joining

yeeter yarker: damn Mr. Stark has a mini crewmate

You know who I am: I call her Morgan

yeeter yarker: awwwww

The Cooler Bird: I have one that I call babybird

yeeter yarker: if only I could afford one

You know who I am: I'll buy you one

yeeter yarker: yaaaaaaay

yeeter yarker: aight let's start and don't tell anyone your role

The Cooler Bird: JSODKFBCJMSNEJRYYRTSTWJWKDJHCBDBSIIE FUCK YOU MR. IMPOSTOR

The Flash⚡: what

The Cooler Bird: MR. IMPOSTOR KILLED ME

yeeter yarker: stop talking I don't want you snitching the impostors

America's Ass: What are we supposed to do in this meeting thing?

yeeter yarker: discuss who's the impostor to vote out

SHUR-YEET: where

The Flash⚡: where

Owner of America's Ass: who

yeeter yarker: in electrical

The Flash⚡: dammit it Clint first survival rule of among us is never go to electrical alone

You know who I am: can't be me

You know who I am: I was on the other side in navigation

Owner of America's Ass: I saw Tony vent

You know who I am: wtf

yeeter yarker: now that I think of it Irondad is pretty sus

SHUR-YEET: aight voting irondad

You know who I am: fuck you all you fucking pieces of shits and Bucky you snitch

America's Ass: Language

You know who I am: BUT

yeeter yarker: stop talking

yeeter yarker: we can't have you snitch

Thunderstorm: Good job everyone he was the impostor!

SHUR-YEET: two more to go

The Flash⚡: noooooooooooooooo he kill me

Scarlet Witch: brother noooooo

Thunderstorm: I died too :(

SHUR-YEET: time to go body hunting

Snek Lord: no need I found Thor's

Snek Lord: and just so everyone knows

Snek Lord: it wasn't me

yeeter yarker: where

Snek Lord: in admin

SHUR-YEET: who we voting bois

Snek Lord: I have narrowed it down to the Captain or Sargent

Snek Lord: they were running away from where the body was

Snek Lord: they both could be the impostor too

Owner of America's Ass: no way we were just gonna take out the trash

America's Ass: we were at the cafeteria going to take out the trash

Snek Lord: how did you know that Stark was the impostor

Owner of America's Ass: I saw him vent

Snek Lord: oh and btw I was security watching the cams and saw you vent

yeeter yarker: he's making some good points

SHUR-YEET: LETS GO VOTING BOIS

Owner of America's Ass: Loki sus

Snek Lord: no

yeeter yarker: oh?

Owner of America's Ass: everything he said are lies

Owner of America's Ass: he found the body so quickly too

America's Ass: don't forget that he's the God of Lies too

Snek Lord: seriously

Snek Lord just because I'm the God of Lies doesn't mean I'm the impostor

SHUR-YEET: and Loki is acting sus right now

America's Ass: he probably also killed Pietro

Scarlet Witch: I SHALL AVENGE MY BROTHER'S DEATH

Snek Lord: I'M NOT THE FUCKING IMPOSTOR YOU IDIOTS

Scarlet Witch: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THE IMPOSTOR WOULD SAY

Scarlet Witch: oh nvm

SHUR-YEET: ooooooooooooof

yeeter yarker: oof Loki was not an impostor

Snek Lord: why

Snek Lord: why did you fuckers vote me out

Snek Lord: ME BEING THE GOD OF LIES DOESN'T MAKE ME THE IMPOSTOR

yeeter yarker: yeah but being God of Lies must mean you are an expert liar yeeter yarker: Therefore you could've been the impostor

Snek Lord: Whatever

Snek Lord: I'm leaving to go Stab Thor

Thunderstorm: Loki nooooo

Punk and Jerk

Punk: OK, so now we just need to kill Shuri, Wanda, and Peter.

Jerk: We don't need to kill all three of them. We can spare one of them. 

Punk: OK, who?

Jerk: kjsjdjdgamzjiakdhdk idk

Punk: What?

Jerk: I don't know.

Jerk: I'm stuck between sparing Shuri or Peter.

Punk: Well, Shuri helped you after everything.

Punk: But, Peter is way too sweet and precious.

Punk: And Wanda's our friend...

Jerk: Since Peter is what everyone calls a "cinnamon roll", we'll just spare him.

Punk: Why do they call him a cinnamon roll? It's not like he's made of bread.

Jerk: ikr he probs doesn't even taste like one. 

Punk: OK, so who do we kill first, Shuri or Wanda?

Jerk: You mean who am I killing

Jerk: You only killed Pietro while I killed Clint and Thor.

Punk: But I don't want to kill anyoneeeeee

Punk: why couldn't I have been a crewmate jwhdjdknsndjsk

Jerk: if u were a crewmate I would've killed you first round

Punk: Really

Jerk: No

_Ryan Reynolds lookalike joined the chat_

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: damn what happened to your grammar guys

Jerk: WTF

Punk: How did you get in our chat?!

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: doesn't matter

_Ryan Reynolds lookalike left the chat_

Punk: ...

Jerk: ...

Punk: Soooo...

Jerk: Leave whoever I'll kill to me.

Punk: OK, thanks Buck <3

Jerk: Love you, punk

Punk: Love you too, jerk

Jerk: Oh and when we're done maybe we can y'know...

Punk: Do what?

Jerk: Fondue ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Punk: Bucky!

Avenger's Chat

yeeter yarker: ok so if everyone's done with their tasks let's have an emergency meeting to discuss who dunnit as impostor

Owner of America's Ass: Me and Stevie finished our tasks a little bit after Loki went bye bye

SHUR-YEET: almost done

Scarlet Witch: HOLD UP I'M NOT EVEN CLOSE TO FINISHING

yeeter yarker: how

Scarlet Witch: I wasted my time with that goddamned card swipe

America's Ass: Couldn't you have done other tasks?

Scarlet Witch: Hell no

SHUR-YEET: oh shit-

Scarlet Witch: are you for real

Owner of America's Ass: crap

America's Ass: Buck, you messed up...

yeeter yarker: wait what happened

SHUR-YEET: I saw Captain America's boyfriend vent away from Wanda's body

yeeter yarker: damn

Owner of America's Ass: fine vote me out

America's Ass: Bucky nooooooooooo

yeeter yarker: I'm sorry Mr. Rogers sir

yeeter yarker: but hey we're one step closer to winning

America's Ass: I guess

SHUR-YEET: damn u voted me

SHUR-YEET: but that's OK he was ur boyf after all

SHUR-YEET: aight imma finish up my tasks then have the meeting that determines if we win or lose

America's Ass: Hey Peter why don't you go look at Clint's babybird

yeeter yarker: OK yes it must be lonely

yeeter yarker: and

yeeter yarker: wait what

SHUR-YEET: what the hell Steve was the impostor

America's Ass: I won this for you Bucky

Owner of America's Ass: Aww thanks Stevie

You know who I am: now that I can speak

You know who I am: WHY THE HELL DID YOU GUYS NOT HELP ME DURING THE FIRST MEETING

Owner of America's Ass: because we had our own plan

America's Ass: The problem was that you weren't in it

You know who I am: fuck you

America's Ass: Language

Snek Lord: I FUCKING TOLD YOU THEY WERE THE IMPOSTORS

The Cooler Bird: I can't believe I was the first to die

The Cooler Bird: babybird was all alone

The Flash⚡: well the two of us watched her

yeeter yarker: I shall do say what I say whenever I fail but live

yeeter yarker: at least I lived

America's Ass: You were too precious

Owner of America's Ass: yea

Owner of America's Ass: anyways see ya

Owner of America's Ass: we're going fonduing

You know who I am: DON'T SAY IT IN THE DAMN CHAT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I played among us after this and got both impostors correct. First time I have witnessed murder.


	19. SPOOPY Halloweeny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloveen. The elusive No Nut November.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeeeeeeee. Online classes suck. Also this might suck cuz I wrote this while doing homework that going to be due in 2 hours. So yea

yeeter yarker: HAPPY HALLOWVEEN MY GUYS

SHUR-YEET: WOOOOOOOOOOOO

You know who I am: I'm throwing a party

You know who I am: wear a damn costume

The Flash⚡: what ur costumes bois

yeeter yarker: I'm going as irondad

You know who I am: I'm so happy right now

SHUR-YEET: I'm going as my brother

Catman: I feel so happy too

America's Ass: Me and Bucky got couple's costumes

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: I'm going as Ryan Reynolds

The Cooler Bird: have fun yall

The Cooler Bird: ill just hang in the vents with my stash of candy

Pepps: I want everyone civil at this event

Snek Lord: I hate these events I'm not coming

Thunderstorm: But Loki I made costumes for both of us

Snek Lord: No

Thunderstorm: I even made an exact replica of Mjolnir with cardboard for you

Snek Lord: What

Thunderstorm: I made costumes of us for each other!

Snek Lord: Does that mean

Snek Lord: I get to be the older brother

Thunderstorm: Yes

Snek Lord: Stark I changed my mind I'm coming over

You know who I am: well that was something

yeeter yarker: wait Mr. Rogers and Mr. Barnes what's ur costumes

America's Ass: it's from Supernatural

America's Ass: We love that show

Owner of America's Ass: The ship thing you call Destiel

yeeter yarker: this is awesome

Snek Lord: Thor when we are in costume since I will be the older brother

Snek Lord: You shall follow my every command

Thunderstorm: OK brother

Peter Quiche: Us Guardians have the best costumes for tonight

You know who I am: And what exactly is it

Peter Quiche: We are going to be the Avengers

You know who I am: seriously

You know who I am: You guys know that that's a terrible idea

Peter Quiche: And why is that

You know who I am: My Peter is already going to be Iron Man

You know who I am: If one of you dresses up as Iron Man too then you'll have the same outfit

You know who I am: So no

Not a Raccoon: Fuck you we're going as Avengers

The Cooler Bird: now that I think of it

The Cooler Bird: who the fuck gave the raccoon a phone

Thunderstorm: I did!

The Cooler Bird: of course ya did

Ryan Reynolds lookalike:(BookstoFanfics: I couldn't get a costume)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike:(BookstoFanfics: so I photoshopped my face onto Castiel)

_November 1, 2023, 12:30AM_

SHUR-YEET: hey boys there's something you have forgotten

SHUR-YEET: something tomorrow which is also November

yeeter yarker: oh god no

You know who I am: What's tomorrow

yeeter yarker: I ALMOST FORGOT

The Cooler Bird: wait what's tomorrow

Scarlet Witch: Oh I know what's happening in November

Mama Spider: Good luck boys

Green Girl: You guys will need it

Green Girl 2: you will really need it

Blue Bot: I pity the men

Owner of America's Ass: This is actually scaring me

America's Ass: What's tomorrow that could be so terrible for men?

The Flash⚡: WAIT I HAVEN'T NUTTED YET

yeeter yarker: fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

SHUR-YEET: HAPPY NO NUT NOVEMBER BOIS

America's Ass: What's No Nut November?

SHUR-YEET: you nut you lose

Scarlet Witch: and if you beat your meat you're a pussy who accepts defeat

Owner of America's Ass: ???

Owner of America's Ass: Wait so no jerking off for the whole of November

You know who I am: What kind of stupid thing is this

yeeter yarker: basically no meat beating or fonduing

yeeter yarker: if ya do you lost

Owner of America's Ass: Wait but me and Steve already...

America's Ass: But we fondued

You know who I am: What have we said about sex life in the chat

SHUR-YEET: of course the old men lose first

The Cooler Bird: fuck I lost

The Flash⚡: wait you lost

yeeter yarker: the ber months are weird

yeeter yarker: it starts with No Simp September

yeeter yarker: Then the happy Spooktober

yeeter yarker: then the painful No Nut November

SHUR-YEET: Then Christmas

yeeter yarker: exactly

Scarlet Witch: I bet that before November even ends they'll all lose nnn

You know who I am: We'll see

The Flash⚡: Sister us men are strong

Bird: We won't lose

SHUR-YEET: bet

The Cooler Bird: why do I hear boss music

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna thank those who give kudos and those who comment. I don't reply cuz I don't really know what to say so sorry for that. So thanks for supporting whatever the hell this shit is.


	20. Celebrations Cuz Procrastinating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone celebrates the end of NNN, my birthday, Christmas, and New Year all in one chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive. Been really busy these days, but hey, better late than never. OH AND YAY 20 CHAPTERS.

*The End of NNN and The Start Of Krima*

yeeter yarker: aight so

yeeter yarker: NNN is done

yeeter yarker: how many people survived

SHUR-YEET: bet they all failed

The Cooler Bird: youre probs right

The Flash⚡: we suck at this

yeeter yarker: ill have you know I survived

yeeter yarker: I had better things to do

You know who I am: like???

yeeter yarker: crying ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

You know who I am: Son are you ok

yeeter yarker: yea I was crying cuz spn ended and cas went to super hell then I finally played danganronpa then they killed everyone I loved there then my computer broke down so it doesn't work and all my files are gone and so are my games which means steam is also gone and I was just about to finish danganronpa then I almost failed my math test i fell at home then now I'm ranting here jdjsjdksndhskxhduekfbrkx

SHUR-YEET: F

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: I won nnn

The Cooler Bird: liar

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: all I did was stare at an ugly man the whole month

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: it worked

The Cooler Bird: proof

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: Google ugly man stock photos

The Cooler Bird: thx for the nightmares

SHUR-YEET: so one of you boys won

Ryan Reynolds lookalike:(BookstoFanfics: yall nnn is over)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike:(BookstoFanfics: IT KRIMA)

yeeter yarker: :O oh yea

SHUR-YEET: MERRY CRISIS

yeeter yarker: MERRY CHRISLER

Pepps: I think now is a good time to assign the exchange gifts

yeeter yarker: WOOO PRESENTS

Pepps: I'll send an email to you about who's gonna receive a gift from you

The Cooler Bird: since we are on the topic of gifts I shall give you all my wishlist

The Cooler Bird: Pizza, $100, that weird thing I saw on TV but don't remember the name, RC cola from the Philippines the commercials nightmare fuel made me want them, dog, guinea pig, cyberpunk 2077, and finally a house

You know who I am: That's not going to happen

The Cooler Bird: cmon all of these are easy to find

Bird: what the hell is the weird thing anyways

The Cooler Bird: im glad you asked

The Cooler Bird: it looked like a penis but it had wings and eyes

Bird: Oh dear lord why did I ask

The Cooler Bird: finally they are thin with braids too

America's Ass: What the hell did you see on tv?

The Flash⚡: I'm concerned

*My Bday*

Ryan Reynolds lookalike:(BookstoFanfics: yall)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike:(BookstoFanfics: there is one more celebration)

You know who I am: And that is?

Ryan Reynolds lookalike:(BookstoFanfics: your author's bday bitch)

SHUR-YEET: hap day of born

yeeter yarker: HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎂🎂🎂🎊🎊🎊🎊

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: happy actually belated bday my writer

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: you were caught up in important and unimportant shit that this was published today

Ryan Reynolds lookalike:(BookstoFanfics: ego+100)

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: author's loneliness+100

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: I shall now have my top 5 fave characters greet me)

yeeter yarker: WOOOOOO HAPPY BDAY AGAIN :DDDDDDDDDD

Snek Lord: Happy Birthday Author

Snek Lord: I'm your favorite?

America's Ass: Happy Birthday!

America's Ass: Thank you for making me your favorite character.

Owner of America's Ass: Have fun today I guess

Ryan Reynolds lookalike:(BookstoFanfics: ah yes, greetings from fictional characters)

*Actual Christmas*

Owner of America's Ass: Wake up fuckers

Owner of America's Ass: Christmas time

You know who I am: What the hell its like 4 in the morning

Owner of America's Ass: Who cares

Owner of America's Ass: it's Christmas

You know who I am: Capsicle get your boyfriend

America's Ass: Bucky it's too early...

Owner of America's Ass: Never too early for Christmas

yeeter yarker: hell yea never too early

The Cooler Bird: since ur all up or smthng

The Cooler Bird: did anyone buy something from my wish list

The Cooler Bird: preferably Mr nightmare fuel

You know who I am: No

Pepps: Maybe someone who picked your name in the exchange gift did

Bird: I admit

Bird: I am that someone

The Cooler Bird: nice didja get me mr nightmare fuel

Bird: first of all

Bird: I didn't

The Cooler Bird: darn

The Cooler Bird: did u get something else

Bird: I didn't get any pets

The Cooler Bird: why not I wouldve let u play with them

Bird: Stark didn't allow me to

The Cooler Bird: fuck u tony

You know who I am: well then fuck you too

Bird: I wasn't going to buy you any of the expensive stuff and I'm not ordering imported soda so

Bird: I got you fucking pizza hut

The Cooler Bird: im kinda tired of pizza hut cuz of the newlyweds special but ok

The Cooler Bird: pizza is pizza

The Cooler Bird: and pizza is love

The Flash⚡: pizza is life

You know who I am: alright so who got my name and what's my gift

The Cooler Bird: i did actually

You know who I am: Cool what'd you get

The Cooler Bird: yea Well here's the thing...

You know who I am: You couldn't afford one could you

The Cooler Bird: WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GET FOR A BILLIONAIRE

The Cooler Bird: YOU COULD LITERALLY BUY ANYTHING YOU WANT

You know who I am: so no gift

The Cooler Bird: oh I did get you this

You know who I am: ?

The Cooler Bird changed You know who I am's name to I couldn't afford a present this year, so I got you this name

I couldn't afford a present this year, so I got you this name: What the hell

I couldn't afford a present this year, so I got you this name: What the hell Clint

I couldn't afford a present this year, so I got you this name: it's so fucking long

I couldn't afford a present this year, so I got you this name: How did it even fit

yeeter yarker: wow

yeeter yarker: my gift is sorta related to that

SHUR-YEET: who'd you get

yeeter yarker: I got Loki

Snek Lord: Really?

Snek Lord: What is it you offer, Spider Child?

yeeter yarker: I left it at your door

Snek Lord: What's in this gift it feels very light

yeeter yarker: open it and you'll see

Snek Lord: There is... A picture of cartoon fish...

Snek Lord: It is captioned with "I couldn't afford a present this year so I got you this box"...

yeeter yarker: I really couldn't :>

Pepps: Alright, let's continue this at the actual Christmas party

yeeter yarker: there's a krima party-

SHUR-YEET: WAIT FOR US ME AND BROTHER ARE COMIN

*2021*

yeeter yarker: BEHOLD

yeeter yarker: IT IS NOW 2021

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: TIME TO SAY GOODBYE TO ALL THE SHIT THAT HAPPENED

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: (BookstoFanfics: FUCK YOU 2020)

I couldn't afford a present this year, so I got you this name: I've got booze let's all party

The Cooler Bird: fuck yea booze

Pepps: Except for all those underaged

yeeter yarker: nyehh just gonna get drunk on milk

Snek Lord: I stole Asgardian mead from Thor

Snek Lord: This is how you party

Owner of America's Ass: Give me some

America's Ass: I'll take some too

The Cooler Bird: Stark me and Pietro are gonna do something awesome

I couldn't afford a present this year, so I got you this name: What is it

The Flash⚡: were gonna have a race

I couldn't afford a present this year, so I got you this name: OK and?

The Cooler Bird: I'm gonna use a car and Pietro gonna run

The Cooler Bird: so I borrowed your car

I couldn't afford a present this year, so I got you this name: you what

The Flash⚡: See ya

Scarlet Witch: Lol I want to see this

Scarlet Witch: Don't start without me

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: now is time for a filler section

yeeter yarker: gonna start singin

yeeter yarker: I may not live to see our glory

SHUR-YEET: I may not live to see our gloryyyyyy

SHUR-YEET: But I will gladly join the fight

yeeter yarker: AND WHEN OUR CHILDREN TELL OUR STORYYYYY

SHUR-YEET: THEY'LL TELL THE STORY OF TONIGHT

The Cooler Bird: FUCK I CRASHED STARKS LAMBO

I couldn't afford a present this year, so I got you this name: YOU WHAT

Scarlet Witch: OH FUCK CLINT U OK

The Flash⚡: BAE U OK

The Cooler Bird: YEA BUT NOW STARKS GONNA KILL ME

I couldn't afford a present this year, so I got you this name: YEA I'M GONNA KILL YOU

yeeter yarker: Mr. Stark no let them be for a bit

yeeter yarker: new year new names

yeeter yarker changed I couldn't afford a present this year, so I got you this name's to Papa Stark

yeeter yarker changed Pepps's name to Mama Stark

yeeter yarker changed their name his name to Spider Stark

Spider Stark: :)

Papa Stark: You're the best son

Mama Stark: The name is good :)

SHUR-YEET: greatest family moment right there

Papa Stark: Gettin Morgan a phone so we can have Baby Stark

Owner of America's Ass: EVERYONE FUCKIN SHUT UP I JUST PROPOSED TO STEVE

Spider Stark: YOU WHAT

Spider Stark: ULTIMATE STUCKY MOMENT

America's Ass: I SAID YES FYI

Papa Stark: OH I AM PAYING FOR THIS WEDDING

The Cooler Bird: EYY ANOTHER WEDDING

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: holy fucking shit author so much happened in this one chapter and its longer than usual

Ryan Reynolds lookalike: proud of you

Ryan Reynolds lookalike:(BookstoFanfics: B) )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might end soon, since its been almost a whole year since I first uploaded this. So thank yall for reading this, and we'll see when this really ends.


End file.
